Just For Tonight

Okay.

 "Still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me, that I wanna keep. Please don't leave." 

"What are you doing back here already?" I ask walking towards him as he comes to me. I cross my arms as we reach each other and meet his face.

"I didn't like how we left things," He tells me shoving his hands in his pockets noticing my disinterest in him still for the time being. "And I wanted to be here for you with everything going on right now." I just nod not even sure what to say right now. Christian sighs before saying, "I'm sorry how everything went with my mom the other night. I should've spoken up and I'm sorry that I didn't. My mom also feels terrible about what happened and wants the chance to make it up to you." 

I just nod, "Okay," I tell him before pausing a little, "Thank you." I let my arms down letting my guard down for him again, it's going to be a long eighteen years at least if I hold grudges like that against him. Christian notices and holds his arms out to me and I take the two steps into him and hug him. I needed this more than I'd have ever imagined I did right now given everything that today's had for me. "Thank you for being here too." 

"Always," Christian tells me hugging me just a little tighter to him. 

"Always after me," Alex says making me laugh as I shake my head, Christian and I pulling away from each other, "You two doing this in the parking garage of an apartment building is definitely super romantic especially seeing baby daddy over there didn't even fork up eight dollars for some supermarket flowers, but it's fucking cold so can we at least head in?" 

I can't help but laugh at Alex as I look at him his hands in his pockets and body clearly tense trying to maintain his warmth right now. I hadn't even noticed the temperature, then again I've dressed more appropriately with an actual coat than him in his sweatshirt. "Good to see you too Alex."

"Yep," Alex replies turning around again and heading towards the entrance. Shaking my head I just let out a little laugh before following his lead and heading inside while Christian follows. Alex will come around eventually I'm sure, if he hasn't already. Something tells me he actually does like Christian barring all the shit that happened at the beginning of all this. 

Getting to the apartment Alex holds the door open for me as Christian takes it and I nod him towards my room. Alex already has enough issues with Christian let alone whatever issues my come with Alex should Christian and I get into an argument or something. "Let me know if you're planning on ordering anything for tonight," I tell Alex after I hang my jacket up, "Obviously me and that one," I point to Christian, "Have some stuff to talk about now." 

"Sounds good," Alex answers as he grabs his spot on our sofa while I follow Christian into my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me I push my hand through my hair and finally really look to him. 

"So, you know that apology isn't just going to clean the slate right?" I ask cocking an eyebrow at him. "Like I was already being cautious with you given how shit started and then that happens?" 

"I know, and I'm sorry," Christian tells me, "Believe me if I could go back and change any of all the shit I've pulled now I would. I've not exactly been the easiest person to be with and that's on me. To start with I had no clue anything about you other than we hooked up and all the sudden you're pregnant. Given my position it's kinda hard to really trust anyone anymore, let alone someone I've met once. My mom was just wanting to look out for me."

"Christian," I say with a  sigh, "I completely understand that but there are ways to handle that where you're not being an absolute douchebag about it. I don't even fault your mom for being how she was I'm sure I'll have to be the same with her," I point to my belly, "Because of who you are if you actually do stick around."

"I'm sticking around," He tells me immediately, "If I had any intention of not sticking around I wouldn't be here right now."

"Whatever," I say sort of just brushing the comment off it's not a thing we're going to argue about, "But like I was saying, I have no interest in ever seeing her getting taken advantage of so I don't fault your mom. The fact that you didn't even own up to any of the shit that you did before I had to call you out is what I'm upset about. The fact you seemed to have just sat there and let her talk shit about me when you knew damn well what was going on that day and why I had to excuse myself in that moment. That's what pisses me off Christian especially since we were trying to have a relationship with each other."

"And I'm sorry," Christian responds, "You're entirely right that I should've said something and I should've told her about everything. That's on me and I'm owning up to that. After you were at the airport I went over and my mom and I talked and she feels terrible over how things went. She told me exactly what you're telling me now and exactly what you said on the way to the hotel that night. There are a million different things I wish I could change right now about how everything went Ashtyn. Please just know that I'm sorry."

Sighing I push my tongue to the side of my lip and bite it slightly as I nod, "Okay."

"Okay?" He asks. 

"Okay," I say and shrug before sitting on my bed, "Not really sure what else there is to say right now."

"Okay," What the hell is this? The Fault In Our Stars? 

Christian sits on the edge of my bed next to me after his last okay. The two of us just sit neither one saying a word further for a few moments before Christian finally speaks once more, "Where does that put us now?"

"What do you mean?" I ask looking at him again.

"I mean about four days ago we were dating or whatever, where are we now?" He asks.

Furrowing my eyebrows a little I look at the space between us and purse my lips to the side. "I don't know," I start taking a brief pause as I think about it, is this really worth the trouble? Kinda doesn't even feel like it right now, we are having a baby though, "What do you think I guess?" 

"I feel like this is a decision more for you," he says brow furrowed just a tad, "I am still more than interested in dating you and being with you. I don't really know that you feel the same though and I don't want to force it just because we're having a kid together." 

"Yeah," I say quietly as I nod slightly to myself. "Definitely makes things a lot more complicated."

"You're definitely not wrong," Christian comments with a small chuckle, "I do genuinely really like you as a person though Ash and I promise that I'm going to do better. I've been shitty, we all know that but if you're willing to give me another chance, I can prove that I'm all in for you and I'm all in for our baby girl."

Taking a deep breath I just let his words sit in a moment before I nod, "Okay." 

"Okay?" He asks.

"We can continue on trying this whole relationship thing and see where it goes," I say giving him a small smile which in turn makes him have that stupid grin on his face that's so obnoxiously infectious, my smile grows with it. Christian leans closer to me before pressing his lips gently to mine.

The lack of that safety net is evident through it even if it's not a bad kiss. Something that's going to need to be re-strung as time goes on I guess. Holding my hand to his face I rub my thumb along his jawline a moment before pulling away. He gives me a little smile which I return before suggesting, "Let me take you on a date tonight." 

(I'm getting a new car officially, tomorrow night hopefully granted everything goes through now, and also applied and looked at the apartments I'm interested in and also had my niece an nephews birthday party yesterday as well as had to deep clean my car so I can sell that so I've had exactly zero time now to do anything lmao. Don't hate me cause I'm shitty at updating cause I've got again zero time and probably will continue to have zero time for a little while now while everything with literally everything in my life gets settled.)