Just For Tonight

Alien.

"I surrender who I've been for who you are. For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart."

"Alex," I say laughing a little, "It's okay," I tell him, "Nothing is even happening today, Wisconsin makes you meet with a counselor and forces you to have an ultrasound before you're allowed to go through with terminating a pregnancy. That's all that's happening today because even after that you have to wait another twenty-four hours before you can actually get the procedure done."

"So you're sure you don't need me to come with? Even just for moral support?" He asks with almost puppy dog eyes.

"No, it'd be weird if you did," I tell him grabbing an apple from our fruit pile. "I promise I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Alex asks, "I'm always down to fight protestors."

Shaking my head I just laugh before saying, "I'm sure you are but from what I've read and seen of this place it's incredibly discreet and there are very very rarely people picketing outside. Thank god."

"Alright," Alex says nodding, "See you in a bit."

"Yup," I say actually getting out the door and being able to head out.

"So why do you think that terminating is the right option for you?" The physician asks me as she gets everything set up for the ultrasound.

"I'm not really in a position to have a baby right now, the father doesn't want one either. The father and I have only met about four times now on top of it so, we're not exactly in the position to really have a kid with each other," I explain before lifting my shirt as I'm instructed. "Maybe if we actually knew each other it'd be different but I'd rather not have to deal with him for the next nine months and eighteen years after. Especially given how he reacted to all of this."

"There are plenty of other options out there as well, adoption being a major one. So so many people would love to have a baby and are unable to," I almost roll my eyes at the suggestion. Yeah, I still have to be the one pregnant the next nine months and then actually have the damn thing. This is so fucking stupid if women want to terminate that's their choice this counseling requirement where they try and sway your choice is ridiculous. Some people just aren't ready and that's okay.

"Alright well, we'll get through the ultrasound and you're free to go then. Should you choose to go through with the termination you can get that scheduled for tomorrow afternoon following the required twenty-four-hour waiting period."

"Sounds good I say," Before resting my arm behind my head.

"This may be a little cold at first," She tells me before applying the gel to my lower abdomen. It's really not bad. Relaxing I watch as she places the wand on my abdomen and moves it around finding the correct positioning. She's watching the monitor as I'm just watching her move the wand around. "Alright, there it is," She says pointing up at the screen, "So you're about nine weeks pregnant. This is the last week it's still considered an embryo, it's about the size of an olive." The thing looks like an alien, gross. Was this supposed to make me want to keep the thing? Seeing the little thing and it still looking like a little alien inside me.

"Thing looks like an alien," I say with a small laugh. My physician for the day just shakes her head slightly trying not to laugh herself.

"All of its organs are budding at this point, his arms and legs are getting formed as you can see." She points out the little nubs coming off the main part of the alien blob on the screen.

"Cute," I say sarcastically dragging the vowels out a little longer. Do people really get like that excited seeing the alien blob? I feel like my physician for today is more pro-choice than she seems to want to let on given how amused she seems by my commentary. I get that there are requirements by the state but this is doing too damn much, and I think she sees that too. She clicks a few things before there's a fast little 'wub wub wub' sound that rings out making my eyes dart back to the alien on screen. Okay making me listen to that is not fucking fair. She doesn't say anything as I'm sure a million and one emotions flash across my face. God that's a dirty fucking play. 'Wub, wub, wub.'

"I can't do it," I say curling myself up into Alex. "I can't go through with just getting rid of the baby. I thought I could but I can't."

"What changed?" Alex asks wrapping his arm around me, "This morning you were dead set."

"I know," I tell him in almost a whisper, "They made me have an ultrasound, even that went well because the little thing is a straight-up alien right now. Then they found it's heartbeat and I-," I wipe my eyes sighing as I shake my head slightly, "I can't go through with it."

"So you're having a baby?" Alex asks.

"I'm having a baby," I repeat wiping under my eyes again. The number of tears shed in the last few weeks could fill a swimming pool at this rate. I don't know how they're going to stop in the next nine months. I guess I should say about seven months now.

Alex sighs slightly before being the bearer of a bad revelation, "You going to tell Christian?"

"I have to don't I?" I ask sheepishly.

"Probably," Alex replies quietly before rubbing my arm, "It'll be okay regardless of what happens. You've got me and Natalia and we're going to be here through it all. If you get a payout though can you buy me a new PlayStation?"

"You're the worst," I tell him as I sit up again wiping my tears yet again. I'm terrified but things will be okay. Grabbing my phone I open Instagram and message Christian.

"I'm sure you're going to get pissed off by this, but I've decided to keep the baby. I had the first appointment today to go through with the termination and was supposed to get it done tomorrow like I told you, but I can't. We should talk about it but I'm willing to let you be as involved or uninvolved as you'd like right now but I just want to know so I know how to plan for my future and our baby's future," I don't even care anymore it's good enough. He wants to be in this kids life great, if not, fine, I'll figure it out without him.

"There," I tell Alex tossing my phone on the couch next to me, "I told Christian. If he wants to be apart of the kid's life he can be if not, fine. I'm not trapping him for money, I'm giving him a cop-out he can choose what he wants to do with it."

"I'll be the dad," Alex says, "I'm down to claim a professional athlete kid."

I can't help but laugh at the comment already assuming what my baby could grow up to be. Maybe this will be okay.

"Hey Ashtyn," Keri says waving me over to her, "Someone dropped this off for you," She tells me handing me a sealed envelope. Furrowing my eyebrows slightly I look at my first name sloppily scrawled across the front of it,

"Who?" Keri just shrugs making a face, "Alright, thanks." I take it with me as I head back into my office.

Usually, when I have random non-addressed letters it's expected. Random people dropping off different checks or thank you cards from time to time but as of right now there's really nothing that I'd be expecting to get. Sitting in my chair I lean forward as I open the envelope and pull the two pieces of paper out of it. "Do whatever the hell you want, leave me out of it," wow. My chest clenches on itself slightly. I mean I did give him the out but I didn't really expect him to take it, let alone without an actual word to me. Shaking my head I move the first note to my desk before seeing the check and forgetting how to even fucking breathe upon reading the seven figures. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? He doesn't want anything to fucking do with the kid why the hell is he trying to give me money? Let alone fucking two million dollars at that. How the fuck do you even cash a check like this? I go to the bank with this shit and all my accounts are going to get frozen and I'll probably get investigated by the police for fraud or something. It's not like it's a cashier's check or something. Not like Christian Yelich is a corporation or something he can just write out checks like this and people can cash them no big deal or anything. What the hell is he trying to do here?

Sitting back I just stare at the piece of paper in my hands. Never in my life did I ever think I'd be holding a check this big let alone hating it this much. I glance around a moment unsure of what the hell I'm supposed to do with this before my eyes fall onto my shredder. Well, that's one way to solve my problem.