Pretend (Ryeji)

Chapter 30: Please Go

"Whatever happened to us getting along?"

Yeji's brows met in the middle, both confusion and shock written on her face. "Since when does that matter to you?"

"Since the director continues to make us act out the same scenes over and over again. I don't want that to be necessary every single day. Acting it out several times? Sure. That's inevitable. But to do it like, oh I don't know, say twenty times? That just stupid."

"Either you've finally come to your senses, or you're just messing with me."

"You know me. I take my job very seriously."

"I know," was all Yeji replied, probably just to acknowledge Ryujin's words, a slight wince following directly after.

'Did it ache? How bad did it hurt?' These were the types of questions Ryujin wished she could ask. It made her feel bad and, at the same time, it pissed her off. Needless to say, there was no hiding her expression, the angry glint in her eyes— at least, not for the first few seconds following the behavior. Yeji could see it in the corner of her eye, the briefness of the emotion before it disappeared.

"You okay?"

"...what?"

"Your face scrunched like this." Ryujin imitated her co-star, but rather in a far more dramatic way. It was admittedly a stretch, the way she squinted her eyes, scrunched her cheeks, and pursed her lips. It almost looked as if someone physically pressed their palms against her face. Oddly enough, as anticipated, her ridiculousness earned a smile out of Yeji.

"By then she had already overheard my argument with him." Yeji sighs at the recollection. She's been in bed all day (aside from using the restroom because her body forced her to), thinking about every single detail pertaining to her current predicament. Now that it's been about twenty four hours, she's managed to calm down. She's not fully relaxed but she's certainly out of the 'enraged' part.

She finds it troublesome to wonder how Ryujin might be feeling considering what she's left her to deal with on her own. Is she hurting as bad as her? Perhaps worse? Yeji doesn't know. She wouldn't know. She hasn't asked. Instead, she wished for space, and Ryujin respectfully hasn't gone against that request.

At this stage in Yeji's thought process, this moment in convincing herself of the beloved and cherished positives found tucked inside her memories, her mind still feels skeptical, unsure. It's aggravating, the concept of the unknown... unless she does know? Ugh! It's so difficult to determine what's reliable and what isn't. She's used to manipulation, has dealt with it for many years, yet she can't seem to distinguish the difference between deception and truth when she needs to most, EVEN with experience.

Yeji vows right this second that she would give anything to simply have a clear mind, one that wouldn't betray the emotions her heart contains, the proof that restless organ of hers constantly puts forth when presenting the details that indicate what they have is so beautiful and blissfully real. Those emotions, whether she was purposefully searching or not, Yeji's never found them while in the presence of anyone else... and she doesn't want to. She doubts she ever will.

"Ryujin was really trying that day, wasn't she? Also the day she tried to make me laugh at that stupid gala after I kissed her, even offered to leave if I wanted her to." Yeji drags her palms down her face roughly, tempted to punch herself in hopes it could knock some sense into her. "Was that not obvious enough?"