Pretend (Ryeji)

Chapter 37: Results

Three days. That's how long it's been since she was discharged from the hospital. Every hour since, Yeji has been on the edge of her seat, awaiting the results that would be the determiner towards any condition she may have developed.

It's nerve-wracking. Paranoia is undoubtedly her worst enemy now that she's mistakenly given herself some free time to reflect on her decisions while showering. Afraid? That's putting it lightly. Angry? At herself, mostly. She can't help but replay the events she can remember on an endless loop in her mind as she runs her fingers through her wet hair, rinsing the soap out.

There is no guarantee here in reality. Her life is not the script of a television show or movie, nor the one she has acted in quite recently. Not only are her chances of contracting an illness up in the air and left to chance, but so is her relationship. She doesn't think Ryujin is that type of person, but Yeji is human like everyone else, someone with fears and emotions she struggles to contain and feel.

Ryujin has the choice to leave. That's not debatable. It's a fact. And would Yeji blame her if she did?

Never. Not in a million years.

The redhead sighs to herself, allows the water to rush down her face in an attempt to soothe her mind. She's scared. There's no denying that. She would like to ask Ryujin to hold her and talk this out, but her girlfriend has been nothing less than kind. Yeji feels like she's already asked for too much and taken up most of the blonde's time. Hence, she's kept these thoughts to herself, has avoided the topic altogether for the past few days, the same as she is now.

After spending nearly half an hour in the shower, most of it occupied with thoughts revolving around her problems, Yeji dresses herself then wraps a towel around her shoulders, too lazy to dry her hair. She shuffles to the kitchen sluggishly, sits at the counter where her phone is resting, double-taps her screen. Cat-eyes skimmed several messages in her notifications bar, but neither are from the person she'd like to hear from.

Yeji scoots her device off to the side and out of view, sighs again. Chin against her palm, she peers around the quiet house. Habits are reluctant to die peacefully, so when those same cat-eyes land on the one thing that seems to help a little rather than just sitting around, a sudden yet familiar urge settles in. Despite the poisoning she had mistakenly put in her body recently, the alcohol taunts her from several feet away, striving to ridicule her determination and reel her in.

Anticipation builds, and the young Hwang notices her fingers twitching, aching to get closer. Acknowledging this foolish desire causes her jaw to tremble, tears threatening to form as her eyes begin to water. She knew withdrawal would be hard, but because of the bliss that came with continuing her relationship, she hadn't considered how weak she would feel while trying to push through it. When Ryujin is here, Yeji finds it easy. After all, she's the individual that gives her the motivation to fight this desire. However, when alone with no working distractions, fighting proves itself to be more difficult than she initially believed.

But difficult doesn't necessarily mean impossible.

Yeji forcefully pulls her hand back, allows her head to gently fall against her arms resting on the counter, huddles inward as she attempts to convince herself that drinking right now could only complicate her situation. She doesn't want to let herself down. She knows this is for the best.

Moreover, as if her Yeji-senses were tingling, a particular blonde arrives on cue. Once Ryujin enters, she assumes Yeji is sleeping and shuts the door quietly. A warm smile spreads, the view causing her to wonder what compelled the woman to take a nap in the kitchen of all places. She wraps her arms around her waist, hopes the back hug will wake Yeji up so she can move to a more comfortable spot. To her surprise, Yeji's head lifts quicker than anticipated, startled because she was too focused on her thoughts to have heard her lover walk in, and this reaction prompts her head to collide with the younger's chin, accidentally hurting both of them in the process.