Pretend (Ryeji)

Chapter 31: Happy Birthday (Pt.2)

I hope it hasn't been too long lol...

Six days passed before the couple had finally spoke to or seen one another. Yeji had counted the hours since their confrontation, had miserably marked off the days on her brain's mental calendar. Her eagerness to see Ryujin was as expected. The girl she loves had been ignoring her and it's crazily frustrating. Even when she and Ryujin managed to spark a conversation, the younger woman kept it as brief as possible, no room for small talk allowed.

Yeji tried to stay positive about their situation. She trusted that if Ryujin needed her, then she'd come to her. For the time being, she respected her co-star's space, despite her desire to simply pull Ryujin into a tight hug every time she was within sight and never let go.

As of now, it's been over two weeks, and she's never hated someone the way she hates Mr. Park. Actually, Yeji has outspokenly disowned the man, declared "fuck you" a few times, undeniably more often under her breath or in her mind. Yeji recalls very vividly the day she had a meeting, one held by the company she's signed to regarding her image due to the controversy surrounding her girlfriend, but she was quick to declare there was no way she'd cut the young Shin out of her life. Yeji would never stoop down to her father's level, but she also wouldn't give him the satisfaction of witnessing her suffering. Besides, she had hope Ryujin would talk to her. Therefore, she'll wait, and if they patch up their relationship, then Yeji would gladly rub that fact in Mr. Park's stupid face.

Ryujin has continued to give Yeji the silent treatment, and it's for a reason she wouldn't like to admit out loud because then it's a reminder of the 'wrong' she did. In truth, while her actions were technically illegal, her morals were in the right place. Maybe a part of her secretly knows it. Yeji has tried to tell her that, and she'd like to tell Ryujin again in hopes of convincing her because now their relationship is teetering on the edge of an end. It's insane if you ask her. They've started out not even a month ago and already have had the rug pulled out from beneath their feet.

In other news, the dance showcase is soon. It's the reason they've been in each other's presence recently. Ryujin knew she couldn't avoid Yeji forever, and it took every ounce of willpower to refrain from bursting into tears the second Yeji was within view that first day of rehearsal. The blonde can't lie and say she didn't consider a way out, but her only option is to resign from the event, something her manager strongly advised her not to do.

It's tough, yes. Ryujin knew whatever Mr. Park had in mind would be rough... but never in a million years would she have guessed he'd pull a stunt that would cut this deep. Despite blaming herself, she considers it a ruthless act. Petty, even. Still, whatever anger she has toward Mr. Park is quickly dissolved in guilt. It's a process of her thoughts that feels never-ending. Sadness. Anger. Guilt. She bounces between each emotion, constantly on edge. Ryujin feels worse whenever she acknowledges she hasn't called it quits. It's safe to say they're still together, even if their relationship isn't intact at the moment—then again, Ryujin wouldn't comfortably use the word safe. In fact, she's terrified to considering the decision rests in her hands.

Heavy. That's a simple way to describe it. She'd almost call it a burden. Almost, because Ryujin has already forgiven Yeji for accusing her while angry. She understands how it came about, and she knows her co-star is worth working through this. The real matter here is her judgment regarding her own worth. It's sad.

Yeji can easily spot this self-doubt from across the room. Her eyes begin to water every time she's distracted during a conversation and she notices Ryujin wipe her nose with her sleeve, discreetly wipe away a tear with her finger, forcing herself to smile whenever another idol approaches her, etc. It causes the redhead's stomach to turn, and she feels absolutely helpless knowing she can do nothing about it, not to mention she hasn't had a real opportunity to get in a full-length apology. Ryujin cut it short anytime she tried.