UNEXPECTED • Jake Kiszka

Chapter 15 - WHY?

I wake up at 4 in the morning with my face in Jake's chest. I feel tired and I want to sleep but I am wide awake. I try to fall asleep but I keep tossing and turning.

"Jenna. Why are you tossing and turning?" He says tiredly, turning me around to face him.

"I don't know why. I just can't sleep."  I look him in the eyes.

"Come here." He says and I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. He starts to play with my hair and I lay there staring at the roof. My eyelids start getting heavy and I fall asleep.

I wake up facing the wall and Jake's familiar warm arm around my waist. I turn so I am facing him and his cologne fills my lungs and I smile.

"How'd you sleep?" He asks, his voice tired and raspy. I try hard not to blush.

"Better than not sleeping for a night." I smile. He kisses my forehead and I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. He looks me in my eyes then analyzes my face.

"Are you still not feeling well? Because your cheeks are not normally this pink." He states. I bring my hand over my mouth and try not to laugh because he had noticed I was blushing but thought I wasn't feeling well.

"Oh yeah, I am still not feeling well." I sarcastically said after taking my hand away from my mouth, hoping he would clue on to the fact that I was blushing. He starts to smile.

"Hmm I see." His voice lowered in a whisper.

I grinned like a kid when they were getting ice cream from the ice cream truck. I know he was teasing me and he kissed my cheek. He stands up but I stop him, grabbing his wrist.

"Stay please?" I ask him.

"Fine," he smiles and lays back down. I put my head lightly on Jake's chest as he strokes my hair. I smile and close my eyes.

"Are you about to fall back asleep at 1 in the afternoon?" He whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"No. Just enjoying the moment and peace away from everything and everyone." I smile.

"Okay." He whispers again. He starts to hum blackbird 2009 remastered by the beatles. It was my favorite song. I smile again and move my head off his chest to put it on his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head and puts his chin on my head. I wish we could stay here forever.

I looked at the time to realize it was 3 in the afternoon. I didn't know it had been that long. I sit up and look at Jake to see him asleep. I stand up and change and go downstairs trying not to wake him at all. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch next to Josh.

"Did you really just forgive him after a fight and sitting in your room all night not sleeping at all?" Josh asks me. I look down feeling guilty.

"Yeah. I hated myself for fighting with him and I couldn't sleep without him. I honestly don't care about why we fought because I know he will get over himself for it but I seriously can't be mad at him forever." My eyes started to water.

"Jenna I get that but why so easily? We heard the whole fight how easily you forgave him yesterday. Sam feels like an idiot and he ran off after you left to lock yourself in your room." He replies, his voice sounding a little more angry than annoyed from before.

"I know but really we would have gotten over it anyways in the future."

"Jenna. Have you ever realized that a lot of things you chose to do are at the worst times?" Josh points out with his voice raising. I stand up, offended.

"Yeah well Josh, I hate to break it to you but he looked hurt and broken. And for a fact I am not dating Sam. Yeah I love him but nothing as much as Jake. You have known for so long that I have liked Jake. Sam's timing was worse when he had told me he had liked me. I got punched in the face for those two to not fight over a stupid, idiotic, self centered bitch! I can't control when I do shit." I yell with tears of guilt streaming down my face. Josh sits there thinking of what to say next.

"Yeah Jenna you are right. You are a stupid, idiotc self centered bitch. And yes you can control most timing for situations! And yes you aren't dating Sam, but still act like you care around him!" He yells back, standing and getting close up in my face. I move back and have flashbacks of my mom when we fought, flash through my mind like I was seeing a million pictures at once. I kept walking back, with my eyes shut until I walked into the wall with my back. "Watch where the fuck you're going Jenna!" Josh yelled again causing more tears to stream out of my eyes.

"Josh, I am sorry. But I do act like I do like Sam because I do. He's a good person and I know I hurt his feelings." I sob, sinking down to the floor and putting my head in my hands.

I hear loud footsteps coming down the stairs fast like running down the stairs. Their footsteps come running into the living room.

"What the hell has gotten into you man?" Jake's familiar voice yells towards Josh.

"I don't know. Ask your girlfriend why she's so self centered!"

"She isn't self centered. She looks up to you Josh. She finds you the most trustworthy to talk to about shit with her mother! And now you treat her like this, outta nowhere? She is more open to you than even me! Are you that blind that she trusts you the most even better than her best friend. Better yet your girlfriend!" Jake yells. The last four words cause my head to snap up.

"His girlfriend?" I ask.

"Yes, my girlfriend. She didn't tell you?"

"No Josh she hasn't. She has barely even talked to me since you guys have been back. And come to think of it, no wonder she is always over and always around you when I come over. And no wonder she has been so distant." I state, anger growing all over me. I stood up from the previous spot I was sitting in on the floor. I had stopped crying at this point. I scoff and stare at him. "Thank you so much for this information Jake. Considering neither of the people I trust my life with had told me. It's so pathetic of me to even trust you guys when you two would always keep secrets and never tell someone you find a brother or sister. God I am an idiot. Why did I have to walk straight into this Kiszka mess. I always do!" I storm off to my room, grabbing my things.

"The Kiszka mess?" Jake asks from behind me, standing in the doorway.

"Yes Jake. The Kiszka mess. Danny is never a part of it because he is a nice and smart kid. Sam is smart too. You and Josh have always fought growing up. And not everyone fights. And ever since you guys have been back, things have gone to shit. A part of dating you and getting my mother in jail. But this whole thing seems like I am living a lie." My eyes start to burn again. I feel some warm tears slide down my face as I turn to face him. "I'm sorry but I have to go. You're always welcome to walk into my house at all times. I will take the key from Emilie until I can trust  her and give it to you. Or you can just pack your stuff and come with me for about two weeks?" I suggest.

"I will go pack my things." He says quietly and walks to his room to grab his stuff. I sat on the bed, pausing what I was doing to process what had just happened. Josh had flipped on me when really it wasn't his part to say or do anything. He was never a part of the situation.After about five minutes, I went back to packing my things. I finish 10 minutes later and walk downstairs and to my car. I open the trunk and load my luggage and later on Jake's. I get in the driver's seat and start the car. I see Josh walk out of the front door as I pull out of the driveway. He stares at me as I drive off.

Jake and I sat in silence as I drove to my house. I pulled up to my house about 15 minutes later and grabbed my keys, luggage and walked to the front door to unlock and open it. I unlock it and open the door. I walk inside and go straight to my room and toss my bags on my bedroom floor. I flop on my bed when I am soon joined after by Jake. I turn to face him and he does the same. Our warm breath mixed together as we breathe.

He leans in and kisses me. I kiss back and think he was just kissing me to calm me down. The kiss lasted a long time. He grabs me by the hips, pulling me on to him. I get into him, keeping our lips linked together still. I pull away a little, resting my forehead on his and looking him in the eyes.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." 

"Maybe another time? It's late and we're both tired. I think it's best we sleep." I suggest. 

"Yeah, yeah. I understand." He nods, running his hand through his hair and we both get ready for bed, backs facing each other from the long day it's been.