Why Can't It Be The Two Of Us ( Ryeji )

XXXVII: This Life Without You.

RYUJIN's POV

Dad was laying on his hospital bed as I arrived, and Mom was there, sitting on the chair beside the table as she cries... Alone and no one to comfort her until I came.

I gave her a tight hug and cried with her as we watch Dad fight for his life. Mom explained that they decided not to tell me so I could focus on my life there, until things got more complicated and they needed me here but still, they are letting me decide on my own. They just suggested so I can think of it as a choice, and at the end... I chose.

I knew that Dad has diabetes but it got severe over time that they said, his kidney was failing his body. And Mom mentioned that one time she called, she needed someone to talk as Dad got stroke and she don't know what to do that time.

Some time after I arrived, when I successfully convinced Mom to eat, Dad woke up he said he was sorry for disturbing me to go here. I felt bad that as their daughter, they shouldn't be sorry for having my time especially in situations like this.

As I sat at the corner of the room I've come to realize that one of the things I fear might happen. That I don't know if I'd ever have to go back after arriving here.

And now I'm here, watching as how Mom takes care of Dad, maybe it's my time fo fulfill my duty as a daughter.
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My Father died a few months after I arrived and so my Mom needed me the most. I stayed by her side all the time and took care of her.

I take business as my course despite her disapproval, telling me to choose what I love doing.

I never mentioned but... I forgot about my passion. Ever since I stepped my feet here, I knew I needed to.

After that accident, I never got to hold my camera the way I did before. My hands keeps on shaking everytime I try, until I got tired and focused on being responsible for our company and continuing what My father had left us.

I used all my time revolving around studying, managing the company and looking out my Mom. And so I lost communication to them.

The people I value... The ones who built me thoroughly and contributed piece by piece until I become who I am now.

And her... I hope she's doing well.

I know I said during New Year eve that I planned to stay for the better that year but... Now I'm here, so maybe... I chose this for the best.

But facing the computer, papers and homeworks made me question myself if this is what's best for me...

I guess I'd need to start living like this as I should've expected.
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Now it's been years since I came here and I'm getting tired. Really.

I've got my degree and completely runs our company business for couple of years now. Mom might have notice but I felt empty everytime I work, like everything was forced due to the goal of fulfilling my responsibility.

She would always remind me to take care of myself and she's fine now but I can't let the nights pass where I hear her cry, still. I know she misses Dad and I am too, that's why I can't leave her side and do the things I miss... See the people I miss.

Coming home late from work again, I went straight to our mini bar here at our house, Mom should be asleep as of this time so maybe I can drink to sleep.

I sat on the stool as I pour myself a drink and sipped on it.

Holding the glass as my hand shakes, I stared at the bracelet on my wrist. It's obvious that it's already old and had been fixed for a couple of times. Since the first time it broke, the night of that accident, it become easily to be broken but I still wear it... To at least feel that there's something about her that is with me every moment.