Cryptic Words and Hidden Letters

001

:: January 26, 2022
:: A room of chaos

Illusion,

It was a fruitful and productive day. I laughed hard with certain people, and it made my heart flutter at some point. But the horror of life is just as thrilling as the hidden thorns of a rose, dangerously attractive. A smile may be an exchange for tears, a giggle may turn into curses. Fascination takes place as happiness grows like a flower in its time of bloom, but a mere beat of glee occurs when you felt the strange feeling of contentment for a span of seconds like its petals that are slowly withering. Felicity is like a drug, quite addicting. It's undeniably exquisite, but somehow imperfect.

With the little words coming out from someone's mouth, one can change for eternity. Touch the thorns, and you'll be curious. Prick your finger, and you will definitely bleed. One might be fed with food, sheltered in a house, and felt love, but tragedy always comes at its finest-that no one could ever see walking to your direction.

In exchange of growth, battling with the thought that stupidity can always be take into consideration, never left. It's like an ambiance I kept running from but still chasing me wherever I go, like the blossom I admired and now I can't take off. I'd still want to believe that I am just in a phase of maturity—but a phase of no development.

Looking at the reflection flashed in the mirror, a hope of seeing the childhood afternoons again arises amidst the soft cries. Knowing that those days are over, it was tempting to watch another girl in her another life: enjoying all the good days without experiencing the excruciating stab of words, poisoining her to death, without living in the walls of uncertainties, roof of expectations, and doors of disappointments.

With questions to ponder while waiting for the apple of sins to fall from the tree of death, I dream of being a rose-the dangerously beautiful blossom in a garden of lies and miseries where beauty is rare to be found. A single drop of tear fell down, followed by a river of it, and an absolute sleep. One bite, and I died for hours.

I was found the next day, with the same nightmare I tried to escape from.

:: Maya