Cryptic Words and Hidden Letters

004

:: June 12, 2022
:: A white house

Dream,

Fate doesn't turn out well at all times. It was cruel, and we were harsh. It was a mere care for the affection we both have with one another, as I watch you leave and wait for the sweets you would bring when you come back home. I had no idea what you were up to all night just to give me those stuff toys that I would always cuddle at night—leaving me for a day because all you want tomorrow is for me to enjoy. Hurting was a way in exchange of every luxuries that I could own.

However, material things will not always be enough because it will never be everything. Searching for more than the food I eat and toys I play—I ended up finding the arms who will gently put me to sleep at night, and wake me up with soft taps and caress on my cheeks. Longing for that kind of gestures, I turned into someone I should not and didn't mean to be. Gentleness into metal hands, agony filled me in. I suffered the feelings that were hurting you, to the point that the blues live within me.

I always ache for the moments that you and I could have shared. Trying so hard to make it up with you and be proud by doing what you taught me, but then you get tired of me until I was worn out too. We were both victims, but it seems like I am not yet done making myself responsible for what you turned out to be today. Leaving while promising you the world we can both cherish until the end was a huge mistake. As memories of smiles and apologies passed by, a wave comes from the deep ocean of regrets. Living like a catastrophe from a distance, I tried to go back to the shore and calm down the pain you've felt—but it did nothing.

We may not be halfway from the island of paradise, but I will slowly mend the wounds that scarred our hearts from the very start.

:: Maya