Our December || Taekook ||

Chapter - 14

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Taehyung continued to stare at the huge painting with overwhelming emotions. He didn't take his eyes apart from it just like he has affected by a spell. He took step closer to it eventually standing infront of the said portrait.
Gentle touchings of paint brushes together with Jungkook's love and longingness enchanted the artwork even more. As the sight of Tae get blurry with tears he took his eyes away only to see the sentence written under the painting beside the signature. It's more like a letter written out by pouring Jungkook's pent up guiltyness.

"Sorry baby..I got blinded.
I don't deserve you.."

After seeing those words Taehyung's mood stiffed up back into a blank one. Eventhough he is trying to maintain a rigid state his eyes are glistening with unknown mix of emotions. He wants it but too scared and angry to accept. His heart is saying one thing while his brain is telling otherwise. No matter what happened this time he decided to think about himself first.

Slowly he removed his eyes from the picture and scanned the room. Surrounding is still dark as Jungkook's interior designs are somewhat bent towards black. At one corner of the room he saw a desk with an unknown equipment. He went closer to it only to gasp recognizing the place as the corner used for tattooing. He wondered whether Jungkook knew about the procedures and hygienic measures regarding it.

Then Taehyung turned back to see so many other paintings of himself again. Those are not so huge as the first one and all of them are not even completed. Seems like Jungkook is always painting them as they situated closer to the bed. Taehyung touched one artwork and smiled softly. He always needed the attention.Always.... The mere thought of Jungkook constantly thinking about him gave a huge amount of warmth and burden to Tae's heart. He is so sure he will never be able to give Jungkook that position again in his heart. He sighed heavily whisper cursing his eyes for always tearing up. He doesn't know why he always get oversensitive for Jungkook's topics.

Every painted picture has the black hair and in some pictures his disabled leg is also seen. Some scenarios are not so familiar to Tae but he still got happy to see them. Jungkook indeed is a great painter. Closer to them there's a transparent cupboard and he peeked into it to see what is inside. Again there are articles and photos of actor Taehyung and surely Jungkook collected every little thing regarding him. Same as the arm , the room also screaming the name Taehyung. It's like Jungkook lived every moment with Taehyung. Not knowing what to feel about everything he sat on the bed. He doesn't want to discover these new things but still he is doing the same thing.

Suddenely his eyes landed on the stool beside and he mumbled

"What are those?"He knelt down closer to it and took one small bottle into his hand. His eyes widened upon realization and took the other bottles also and checked. Every bottle has a name such as  'anxiety','depression','eating disorder','Sleeping tablets' and many more. A sob came out from Tae's mouth even being unable to imagine Jungkook's weak condition to take these pills. Is he this much unstable? All the bottles are messily kept on the stool clearly showing that Jungkook didn't take them on correct time. Maybe he took them only when he needed.Taehyung softly cried not wanting this much of punishment for Jungkook. He shaked his head to himself not wanting to accept these things. With a numb heart Tae slowly plopped down on the bed and stared at nothing. It's so unbelievable how Jungkook hid everything inside this room. His face always looked so calm and contented but there's lot more in his mind all these times.

On the bed he felt something solid to his hand in between blanket. Taehyung pulled it out only to see that it is a diary. Taehyung clearly knew that looking through this diary didn't do anything good to his heart but nevertheless he opened it. Particularly there's nothing in this book apart from few sentences he wrote time to time. Looked like he never used a diary as a diary. Taehyung chuckled at the thought and began to turn the pages. After a lot of blank pages he saw