Chapter 32 // Suffering

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You watched from a distance as your classmates prepared dinner using the fire pits outside the lodge near the pavilion. You stood near the tree line, choosing not to participate.

You weren't hungry. You didn't feel like talking to anyone. It almost made you sick that you were now how you were at the beginning of the year; the only person you could talk to was Shinso, and Bakugo had become your rival once more.

"[Y/N]."

You perked up at the sound of your best friend's voice and lifted your head to find Shinso standing in front of you.

"My parents will be here soon," the lilac haired boy explained. "Can we talk for a second?"

"We're already talking," you stated with a small side smile, but Shinso's expression remained serious, almost concerning you.

"Is something wrong?" you asked

"Not necessarily," Shinso shook his head while taking your hand. "I just need to tell you something."

You simply nodded and allowed Shinso to pull you into the woods. He didn't take you too far, only far enough so that the two of you couldn't see the others, and they couldn't see you.

"Toshi, you're kinda scaring me?" You admitted with a nervous chuckle. "What's going on?"

"Shh," Shinso shushed you as he took your other hand. "I'm gonna talk, and I just want you to listen."

"Okay," you replied slowly.

Shinso kept his eyes glued to the ground as if he was going to break down if he looked into your eyes. You noticed his bottom lip quivering. His grip on your hands tightened.

You were scared.

"You were right," Shinso began, only confusing you further. "I was jealous. I am jealous. I don't like that you've been hanging out with Bakugo so much. I don't like it at all. I told myself it was just because I was used to it just being the two of us for so long that it felt weird without you around all the time, but I was only trying to stall."

"Shinso—"

"Just let me talk."

You silenced yourself, pursing your lips as you squeezed his hands back both to comfort him and yourself.

"I hate everything about what's been happening," Shinso confessed. "I hate that you became so committed to being around him and getting to know him. I know you said at first that you just wanted someone to compete with, but I know that's not true now. You don't want to get on his nerves. You want his attention, and I can see it."

You opened your mouth, poised to speak, but then you remembered the desperate tone to his voice when he told you to be quiet. Where was all this coming from?

"You like him," your best friend stated. "I know you do. That's why it hurt so much when he dismissed you, and it hurt even more when you called me because I knew it was only because you needed me for comfort. You needed your best friend, but I don't wanna be that for you anymore. I don't wanna be just your friend."

"Shinso..." you trailed off, your eyes searching every feature of his face. He finally looked up. His lips were shaking. His eyes were narrowed as if he was trying not to cry.

"I love you," the boy finally admitted with a deep sigh. "I have for a while. I always have, but I don't think I realized how much until Bakugo came into the picture. I wanna be with you. That's why I yelled. That why I got mad. That's why I hate Bakugo. It's not because he's an asshole. It's because he's been pursing you. I wanna pursue you...if you'll let me."

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