Wanna be yours

The guilt

“Is Jin the reason?”

The mention of Jin’s name from Yoongi’s mouth annoyed Jungkook, and he turned back and glared at his hyung sharply. They looked at each other, one with anger and the other with an expression that no one could read. Jungkook relaxed himself for a moment before he spoke.

“Hyung, please try to understand. I don’t want to go back and...” Jungkook thought for a moment before continuing.

“And we have started our new life together. Please don’t try to ruin it.”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked as he got confused by Jungkook’s words.

“We are married.” Jungkook said, leaving Yoongi in utter shock.

"“W-what?"

"Jin is my husband."

“Why the hell did you take that decision?”

“why? Are you mad that I haven’t married  Lisa?" Jungkook smirked. But

“I would have been happy if you married anyone but not Jin!.” Yoongi screamed at his brother.

“why? What should Jin have done to you for you to hate our relationship this much?” Jungkook screamed back at his hyung, not being able to degrade the other’s words anymore.

“It's not him. Its you! You have done something unbelievable!” Yoongi's voice broke at the end, and his eyes teared up thinking about the secret he had been bearing solely for so many years.

“What are you saying?“ A fear built up unconsciously inside Jungkook after seeing his hyung tear up in front of him for the first time ever.

“I thought I could bury this secret inside me forever, but no, it's going to break a lot of hearts.”

“What are you talking about? What secret?“ Jungkook asked desperately, sensing the seriousness in Yoongi’s eyes

Yoongi closed his eyes for a time, gathering all of his courage to face the consequences of what he was about to disclose, turning his mind into stone before speaking.

Jungkook's eyes went wide and his body became numb after hearing what happened at Namjoon's graduation celebration, and he felt an awful sorrow in his heart, which had been entirely crushed. Unbeknownst to him, tears began to flow from his round, doe eyes.

“H-how can this happen? I can't remember anything.” Jungkook asked miserably.

“Remember, you often have this nightmare of Jin crying and mumbling in your dream after that incident.” Jungkook silently recalls those dreams, which every time make it difficult for him to fall asleep.

“It's not just a dream. Those are the things you heard that night. Those crying and silent sobs of Jin from that day are repeating in your mind as a dream.”

Jungkook find It is difficult to deny what Yoongi has been saying. Everything feels real now. The nightmare, the crying figure, the disturbing voices. Suddenly, he hears the echo of Jin’s crying sound around him. It injected a sudden sense of fear inside him. He closed his ears quickly to stop that voice from penetrating through them.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi called worriedly.
But Jungkook was in another world, trying to run away from the voices that were haunting him.

“Jungkook!”

Yoongi called loudly after calling him several times and not getting any response from Jungkook.
Suddenly, the voice around him stopped, and Jungkook looked at his hyung with teary eyes.

“What am I going to do, Hyung?" With that, Jungkook sat on the floor as his legs lost their energy, crying wholeheartedly and thinking about the worst thing he had done to his love.

“I don’t deserve him. I ruined his life. It is me. I don’t deserve to be with him.” Jungkook cried out in Yoongi’s hold, who just hugged his brother, not being able to see him in that situation.

*

The silent, cool breath waved through the two bodies who were standing there, one refusing to make eye contact and the other looking only at those eyes that were in front of him. After gathering courage from speaking with Hoseok, Jin decided to have a talk with Jungkook.

After a full-length silence, Jin thought it would be better if he would initiate the conversation and end it quickly. Because with every second passing, he was losing his courage, and his heart was slowly surrendering. He doesn’t want others to see his weak side. He wanted him to know that he could live without him. That’s what Jin thought, but his voice betrayed him when he opened his mouth.

““W-why?” Jin tightened his treat after that, not wanting to become emotional.

Jungkook didn’t say anything. He just stood there in guilt, unable to do anything—to console him, to hug him, to calm him, to make all his pains vanish. A lump formed in Jungkook’s throat after seeing Jin's eyes tear up.

“The least you could have done for me is to say you were sorry for breaking my heart. But you went ahead with your life as if you had never murdered anyone, as if there was no blood on your hands, as if you had never buried anyone who was still breathing!.” Jin yelled hard.