Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis (Hp x Mcu) by Enigmaris

Chapter 18: A Long Awaited Conversation

Summary:

Holly has questions for Loki about the most important topic of all. Thor's Wedding.

Text
"Okay, you've got to level with me. Thor in a wedding dress, truth or fiction?"

"What?" Loki croaked.

The voice came from his left and it was familiar in the same way that a gnat buzzing around one's ear was familiar. Which is to say annoying and something Loki had the almost instinctive urge to swat at. Unfortunately, Loki's limbs were a bit too lethargic to allow him to swat at anything. Loki's entire body was complaining very loudly at him about his actions and he had that terribly familiar ache in his body that let him know he had overdone it.

"Thor's wedding? You know, some old giant creep or something stole Mjolnir and ransomed it for the hand of some goddess? And then you came up with a ruse that ended with Thor in a wedding dress? Is that ringing any bells?"

The voice was becoming more familiar to Loki as his body woke up further. He knew that there were some magic users that upon waking up after sleeping for multiple days to recover from magical exhaustion tended to...sparkle. They'd hop around like drugged up creatures pawing for food and literally making the air shimmer with their newly returned magic. Loki wasn't like that at all. He was far more graceful. Loki was the kind to wake slowly, with intent.

In this case the intent was to get whomever was talking to go away.

"I asked Thor about it of course but he told me it was ridiculous and made up. He acted really shifty though so I'm not convinced he was telling the truth."

"Ralston would you please shut up?"

Silence. Loki sighed in relief and worked on slowly opening his eyes. He expected to see Ralston sitting next to him. The man would probably be wearing some ridiculous tunic with a new treatise on transfiguration in his lap. Ralston would also probably look wrecked and over-worried like he did whenever Loki got hurt. Sometimes Ralston would keep himself from sleeping if Loki was injured, there would probably be bags under his friend's eyes.

What met his eyes when Loki opened them was not the sight his mind had conjured up.

Instead of the wonderful and welcome sight of his best friend, no matter how disheveled the man would probably look, there was what appeared to be a rabid magic user sitting in a large comfortable chair next to his bed. The magic user had hair that had been cut by what appeared to be a toddler. Every strand a different and yet still unappealing length, combined with that it curled and stuck up everywhere. They were wearing a shirt that looked like it was made for someone four times their size and they had an electronic tablet balanced on one knee while their entire lap was full of food.

"You." Loki seethed at the Ralston look-a-like.

"Oh, so you remember me then?" The magic user asked, using Ralston's face. "That makes things easier. So tell me, Thor's wedding, spill the tea as the youth are saying."

"I don't know what realm you've come from or where you found that face but you had best run as fast and as far as you can, because if you are still here in the next five minutes there will be blood spilt."

"Woah!" The Magic-User-That-Was-Not-Ralston said, lifting up her hands as if to pre-defend against an attack that wouldn't be happening for a few minutes more. "Calm down, I'm not here to hurt you."

"No I am here to hurt you and I will if you don't get rid of that face and get off this planet."  

How dare this upstart, whoever they were, even toy with the idea of wearing Ralston's face as a glamor? Did they think that would soften him? Did they believe they could trick him with such a guise? No. Loki would burn them, he would burn every bit of them for the gall of this one act.