Holly Potter and the Midlife Crisis (Hp x Mcu) by Enigmaris

Chapter 19: Why Nick Fury Misses the 90's

Summary:

Director Fury finally manages to get inside Stark Tower and he does not like what he finds.

Nick Fury wasn't the sort of man to be intimidated by anything or anyone. Even back in the day when he was a young agent and he'd been fighting against shapeshifting aliens with an amnesiac superhero, Fury liked to claim he was cool under pressure. The idea that he was so cool under pressure because he always had a pager on him that would allow him to call said amnesiac superhero was something that was left unspoken. No one but him knew about the pager and that would stay his own little secret. After all, what good was the ultimate Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card if everyone knew he had it?

However. Even Nick had to admit that the last few days had been nothing but stressful as hell.

First his team, his personally picked and specially designed team, had gone out to fight four unknown aliens. This team, which consisted of a god, a super-soldier, a hulk, a genius, and two highly trained assassins, got their asses handed to them like their asses were parts of a Sunday dinner. That team, the team that Fury had claimed was Earth's best and last line of defense, failed against four aliens that looked like they belonged on the set of Star Trek.

Which was stressful, to say the least.

Then just as Fury was desperately trying to convince the World Security Council that no, nuclear weapons were not an option and would never be an option, Loki showed up! Yes, that's right. That guy. The guy with issues so bad that they made Stark look totally well adjusted. The guy who threw tantrums in major cities every other month because his Daddy didn't hug him enough.

Part of Fury was relieved to see him because it seemed like Loki had beef with the four other aliens. If they were lucky Loki would kill those four and then succumb to his wounds from the fight and die too. Wouldn't that be something? Two birds, one stone! Of course, Fury was never that lucky. Within 30 seconds Loki got his ass handed to him on a plate too. Although unlike the Avengers the four aliens seemed ready to torture Loki for standing up to them.

Fury ignored the audio he got from the fight, Loki could be lying about the torture and about the invasion. He was the god of lies! Still his left hand reached down into his pocket and his fingers curled around the old piece of plastic from the 90's.

He missed the 90's. It was better, simpler time.

So just as Fury thought he was going to watch his greatest annoyance be tortured by four of his newest causes of early onset heart failure, someone else showed up.

"Now who in the hell is that?"

"It looks like...the cleaning lady sir."

"The cleaning lady?" Fury asked looking over at Hill.

"Yes, Holly Potter. She's worked as the cleaning lady for the Avengers for the past few months. We did a full background check but it didn't turn anything up."

The so-called cleaning lady then changed from a nice dress into some sort of armor and started spewing magic everywhere. Fury's jaw clenched.

"I want to know who the fuck signed off on that background check."

"That would be Agent Romanoff and Barton sir."

Well shit.

Potter ended up dishing out the ass kicking to the four aliens like it was something she did every day. She killed two of them, one in a swarm of magically created snakes and the other via her very shiny sword that had come out of nowhere. Watching her fight from their surveillance equipment, listening to the music she'd had Jarvis play for her...well it reminded Nick of Carol in all the wrong ways.