One Shots

Blood in the Snow - Shawn Mendes Imagine

*from my Tumblr* 

www.graceelizabeththefab.tumblr.com

Blood in the Snow - Shawn Mendes Imagine

The cold air bit my skin, numbing my fingers and throwing a frozen feeling across my lips. I licked them to try and regain the moisture, but it was soon dried up from the brisk winter wind. The tears that once soaked my face had frozen against my skin, drying up into hardened lines across my cheeks. My tiny cold fingers clutched the razor blade as I trudged out across the snow. My white sweater hugged my body as well as my dark wash skinny jeans. I had on a pair of snow boots and they clunked against the ground whenever I took a step. I soon arrived at the pavilion in my backyard, my favorite place to cut.

The snow was bright white, shining up onto my face and causing me to squint my eyes. I sat down on the dry bench in the middle of the wooden pavilion. I sniffed and brushed some hair out of my face. It was still bright outside, probably 4:00 and then sun was just about to go down. I glanced around, and upon seeing no one, I pulled up my left sleeve. I could see the old scars and the freshly cut lines from last week. There were so many… I couldn’t count. But no one knew. I could hide them.

I pulled out the razor blade and dragged it across my arm. It hurt even more against my stiff cold skin and I bit my lip and whined a little to myself. I could feel fresh tears coming, and they dropped down my face and landed on my jeans. The blood oozed out of the newest cut, dripping down my wrist. The streaks reminded me of the hate. I couldn’t take it. I’d held everything in for too long and finally, my walls burst. Everything I’d stopped, everything I’d done so well covering was out. It screamed at me and it hit me hard.

The drops of blood fell into the snow at my feet, staining it red. I could see the liquid spread throughout the snow pile. I continued to cry, not attempting to muffle my sadness. My hands started to shake and soon enough I dropped the razor into the snow, too, burying my face in my hands. Bits of the blood on my wrist rubbed off on my neck but I didn’t care. I don’t understand how anyone could hate me that much.

“Y/N?” I heard someone call. I snapped my head up and pulled my sleeves down. My head frantically whipped around trying to see if the person saw what I’d done to myself. It was Shawn. He just closed the back door to my house, so I bet he didn’t see. The blood began to seep through the white fabric of my sweater, turning it a dark red. I shoved that hand in my back pocket, hiding it from my boyfriend.

“Are you okay?” he asked sweetly as he approached the pavilion. I tried to cover up my sadness and give him a smile. But there was no happiness in it.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, obviously seeing how broke I was just through the expression on my face.

I didn’t say anything. I just stood there, staring down at his shoes. His eyes searched my face for any sign of unhappiness. There found their way all the way down my body and to the snow at my feet.

“What is that?” Shawn asked, his voice now panicked. He flew to my side, picking up the razor blade that was sitting in the snow. It still had traces of blood on it, and Shawn could see the blood in the snow pile itself.

“Nothing, nothing,” I said, reaching out to take the blade from him.

“And what is that?” he asked, appalled, looking at the blood stains on my sweater and neck. “Y/N,” he said, his voice how soft. His eyes drooped as he extended his hand to take mine. Pulling back the sleeve of my sweater, his eyes widened at all the marks. “Y/N, why would you ever…” he trailed off.

“I’m sorry! It’s your fans! They absolutely hate me!” I screamed, throwing the blade back in the snow, completely sobbing.

“No, no, no, Y/N, stop, no,” Shawn said, reaching out and pulling me into his chest. I collapsed, depressed, broken and needing his love. “Shh,” he whispered. His hands rubbed up and down my back and arms, caressing my skin, showing how much he cared. “I love you, that’s all that matters,” he sai