04/15/2018
My best friend says, my best friend says
I'll still be there for you
In time of need
You can lean on me
Come on, come on
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
-J.Cole, Bestfriend
Storm.
It had been two weeks since I had saw Layke and Harlem. Layke had texted and called me a few times, but I ignored her. Harlem, on the other hand, hadn't reached out to me at all. A part of me was fucked up... how could he call it love when he neglected me so quickly? I mean, I know I had left him before, but I thought we were past that. I gave him my virginity.
But, I didn't sit around and dwell in these thoughts. I had been busy with a new job at a clothing store. I hadn't even smoked in these last two weeks because my mind had been so messed up. The job just had to fuck around and give me three days off in a row...
A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts completely. I glanced at the door and took my time getting up to get it.
My eyebrows shot up as I opened my door, looking at a worn-out Layke on the other side. Her eye looked bloodshot like all she did was cry every minute of the day, but she still gave me a small smile when she saw me.
"What are you doing back here? I thought I told you and your brother to get out of my house? I don't remember inviting you back." I said folding my arms over my chest. I had to clench my hands into fist just so I wouldn't smack her pregnant ass again.
"Look, I'm still your friend. My name is different, and I lied about a few other details of my life, but I am still the same person. I've just lost everyone close to me and Harlem went to try to get them back... I feel like I've lost him too," Her eyes welled up with tears again causing me to shake my head. I sighed and opened the door wider, letting her emotional ass in.
I didn't comment on her outburst, so I walked back to my room. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. The bitch lied to me about her entire life.
I sat down on the side of my bed and hesitantly reached for a blunt. Looking down at it, I couldn't help but want to cry. Why couldn't I live without it?
I brought the previously rolled blunt to my lips and reached for the lighter on my nightstand.
"You don't need that Storm..." Layke's voice came from my bedroom door. I didn't even jump only pursed the blunt in between my lips and brought the lighter closer to it.
"You don't get to tell me what I need." I spoke clearly before sparking my blunt. She laughed lightly and walked further into the room.
"I'm not your enemy, Storm." I looked her in her eyes when she said that. She didn't look away for a few seconds.
"You're damn sure not my friend either. And if you call yourself my friend, who the hell needs enemies with friends like you?" I spoke pausing to take a few puffs every now and then.
"Did it ever occur to you that I lied to you to protect you from something?" She asked me and I could hear the real curiosity in her voice. I took my time to answer only after three pulls.
"Did it ever occur to you that I was grown? I could handle whatever?" I asked, and she looked down and shook her head. I clenched my jaw at her for laughing at my response.
"You couldn't handle this. You can't even handle some bullies at school. But, I nor Harlem, ever asked you to face anything on your own. You made your choices." She pointed out causing me to think back on a previous conversation we've had.
"You knew how he was and you made your bed, Storm. You also laid in the bed you made with him. You knew he was popular; all of his friends were the same ones who messed with you; you knew that. But, before you have a pity party, you need to be honest with yourself. He wanted you publicly and you chose your privacy over him for a while. You need to dissect this entire situation before sending yourself into an attack, episode, whatever." She stated simply.
I took a few more pulls of the blunt as I thought about her words.
"Were you taking his side because he was genuinely right or because he was your blood?" I asked, and she stilled, instantly knowing what I was talking about.
"You are grown and there is not a battle that anyone, but God, has made obligations to fight for you. You need to be honest with yourself. You know he was right and you know he would have fought for you. Hell, I had never even met you and realized he was different for you," She said but I could only shake my head as my high made its presence known.
"Get out, Layke. Your ass needs to find somewhere to flow and its not here," I spoke and flicked my wrist for her to get out of my room. She nodded and walked the other way, but not before pausing.
"You think that me and Harlem are the real bad guys... we aren't. You think I didn't notice that you were running from something this whole time? A girl in school with no family or friends then moves across the country? In plus, the way you drown yourself out in alcohol and tune the world out with weed? It's you who has always been running. Harlem was your safety net and whenever you lose him, you lose yourself. Sadly for you, your biggest fear is about to become close and personal. There is no running anymore." Layke's voice came out strong. She walked out of my room without another glance.
I owe yall another one today, and hopefully more.
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Love yall!
Tymoni
