His Two Lives || JJK

The Truth

After moments that felt like years, he finally spoke up again.
-Look, Shina, I'm sorry for what happened with Justin... You weren't supposed to meet him- He said, lowering his voice more and more at every word.
-Are you actually talking about yourself in third person?- I asked, confused, while I walked up to face him. From his back I couldn't understand if he was serious or he was just pulling a prank on me, so I had to look him in the eyes.
-Shina, it's complicated... You wouldn't understand...- He said, fixing his glasses and trying to make eye contact with me.
-Test me- I said with confidence, getting closer to him, to make him understand that he wasn't getting out of this, not this time. He looked away.

-Do I really have to tell you the truth? Can't you just ignore what happened?- He asked, but he already knew the answer, in fact I didn't even have to say something that he continued to speak.
-Okay, uhmm, where do I start? ... Well, when I was little and I did something wrong, my mom and I used to have this thing between us where we would blame Justin... So basically since then Justin became the bad guy...- He said, holding his breath like he was saying his darkest secret, but I still couldn't understand.
-So you just change your name when it comes to being the bad guy?! Is that it?- I asked, trying to clarify things up.
-See, I told you you wouldn't understand...- He said almost whispering, but I was still able to hear.
-Well, maybe you're bad at explaining!- I said, feeling attacked.
-Okay, sorry, I'll try again... So, after my mom died when I was 10, I started getting more and more detached from him and now we are two different people. I don't feel what he feels, I don't think what he thinks...-
-Is that even possible?- I asked, confused.
-I mean, I guess so...- He said shrugging.
-Have you ever, you know, talked to someone about this, like some professionals?- I said, cautious, not wanting to hurt him.
-I don't need that, I'm fine this way...-
-But you know what happened Friday night, right?- I asked him, while I was still trying to digest the informations I was being fed with.
-Yeah, I know what happened, but it wasn't me... I'm sorry if you had to deal with that... Justin is just a mess- He said, shaking his head.
-Why were you... I mean, why was he so upset about me being there?- I finally asked the thing I was still not able to understand.
-Well, Justin and I have different groups of friends, not only because we are different, but also because if one of us sees the other's friends he gets confused... And that's what's happening with you...-
-How do I confuse you?-
-Well, as you could see today, Justin came, while I was there- He said, referring to what happened during lunch break. -And that's not supposed to happen, not at school, not with my school friends. School is my place-
-And I bet the club is his- I said, starting to put the pieces together.
-Exactly- He said, smiling. I could see he was getting more and more comfortable with me knowing the truth even though I basically forced him to say it. -So when I meet his friends or vice versa, we get kinda confused...- He concluded.
-And what about when you're home or with your family?- I asked, having still a few doubts.
-Well, as I said, my mom died and my dad is been around the world a lot for his job ever since, I only see him once in a while, so I'm always alone at home and Justin can come whenever he feels like... But he never comes when I'm studying, because he finds it boring- He was telling me about his sad family story, but for some reason I was more fascinated by how he was talking about the other part of himself as if it was another person. -And about the rest of the family, well they only know me, they don't know him- He said, to answer my question.

I stayed quiet for a while, too much information to take in, and he interrupted the silence with a chuckle.
-I can't believe I actually told you- He said, more to himself than to me, while giggling.
-Well you didn't have that much of a choice- I told him, smiling. -I'm sorry if I got kind of aggressive, I thought you were making fun of me and I felt stupid... And I don't like feeling that way- I explained.
-Don't worry about it, I mean it's all Justin's fault, he treated you really badly, you had every right to be upset-
I still felt weird about talking about Justin like he was actually another person, so I didn't answer.
-But could you do me a favor?- He continued. I nodded. -Could you go to another club? Justin always goes to the Armybomb, he has his friend there and everything, you know... And if you keep seeing him it's all gonna get even more complicated- He asked me with his head low, as if it was hard for him to ask me this favor.
-Yeah, I mean don't worry, my cousin is going to leave next weekend so I'm not gonna go clubbing anymore- I said, making him clearly relieved.
-Great, so is everything ok... between us?- He said, getting shy and playing with his fingers while waiting for my answer.
-Yeah, sure- I said, trying to make it sound like it wasn't that big of a deal, but him getting all shy gave me this weird feeling in my stomach for some reason.
-Great... Uhmm, so... Do you really need help with math?- He asked me.
I was confused for I second, but then I remembered my act of few minutes before.
-Oh no no! I'm sorry about that, I just wanted to talk to you... I mean, you know, to clear things up... Just that, nothing else...- I said, getting nervous all of a sudden.
-Oh ok...- He said and I felt a bit of disappointment in his voice, but it was probably just me imagining things. -Anyway if you really need help with homeworks you... I mean, you can always... count on me-

Why the heck did my heart just do a flip?