His Two Lives || JJK

Confession

-I'm not "every girl"!- I said, trying to act offended, but my shyness got the best of me, since he was implying that I liked him, well Justin actually.
-So, you... don't like him?-
Being persistent, are we, Jungkook?! For God's sake!
-Why are you asking me this?-
-I'm just trying to understand what I did wrong... Do you suddenly like him and want to stay away from me? We're not friends anymore?- He kept asking all these questions and I was getting frustrated.
-Oh God, I hate you!- It slipped out of my mouth and I instantly regretted it.
I looked at him to check his reaction, hoping he wouldn't be upset by my words, but he clearly was. He looked like he was about to cry.
-I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say that...- I tried to fix my mistake, getting closer to him and looking into his eyes.
He didn't answer. He just walked past me towards the front door.
-Wait, where are you going?- I asked him, before he could open that door.
-I'm leaving, since I'm clearly unwanted here...- He said, sounding really hurt. But for some reason I got even more frustrated by it.
-I said I didn't mean it!- I raised my voice.
-It didn't look like it...- He said with an attitude that made me flip out.
-Oh God! You know what, Jungkook? You're right! I hate you! And I mean it! I hate you! And by "you" I mean both of you! You and Justin! I just can't stand you both! First you come and you're being your innocent self and then he comes and he's his arrogant self... And you mess with my head and then say that I'm the one messing with yours... And the worst part is that I feel stupid and insecure when I'm around you two! And I'm getting tired of this... Because I just wish I could confidently say that I freaking like you two... And it's completely nuts because you are the opposite of each other but I just want you both...-

What the heck did I just say?! Tell me this didn't happen! I didn't just tell him that I like him, did I?

He was quiet, too quiet. I was starting to freak out. He was probably thinking of a nice way to tell me that he didn't feel anything for me and that we were just friends. I wanted to prevent that by saying something, anything, but the words wouldn't come out. He was looking at me confused, shocked and embarrassed at the same time. His cheeks were reddening and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something.

-I... I'm... I'm sorry I... I have to... go...-
What?!
He opened the door and left just like that.
What the hell just happened? I mean, I wasn't expecting him to say that he felt something for me too, but I wasn't expecting him to say nothing at all either... I mean, except for when he said that he had to leave...
I was confused and upset. I had probably ruined everything. I felt weak in my knees and I threw myself on the couch. I felt yet again so stupid.
I mean, why did I have to spit out my feelings like that? I didn't even know I felt that way until I said it. Why couldn't I just think about it first? Instead of putting it all out there just because I get talkative when people keep contradicting me.
I'm so damn stupid!

While I was lost in my self pity, someone began knocking on my door. Insistently. I lazily got up from the couch and walked to the door. I looked through the peephole. It was him again. I opened the door, ready to scold him for leaving like that.
-What the hell, Jungkook? Are you kidding m...-
I was interrupted by him taking my face in between his hands and kissing me, right then and there. I was taken aback and started walking backwards, while he closed the door behind him. But he kept kissing me. It was different from last night. He was more desperate and he was not stopping. And when I realized that, I allowed myself to kiss him back. My lips started moving on their own, complementary to his. I was still scared of him stopping and regretting what he did, but I was too into it to let that fear stop me. But then a thought came to my mind and I was the one who broke the kiss this time.
I put some space in between us and we were both panting. I looked into his eyes and only then I realized his glasses were gone and his gaze was more piercing and his lips were curved into a faint smirk.
-...Justin?- I asked, doubtfully.
-Of course... Did you think he could do something like this?- He whispered on my lips, smiling.
He was too damn close and I wasn't thinking straight.
-I mean, I had to come... After what you said...- He added, getting even closer, ready to start kissing me again.
And I was about to give in, but then I got back to my senses and put my hands on his chest, gently pushing him away in order to clear my mind.
-Wait... So... You...-
-Yeah, I like you too, Shina... Wasn't that already clear when I kissed you last night?- He said, smiling and trying to get closer to me again but I stopped him.
-No, wait, but... What about... him?- I asked. I wanted to know if Jungkook felt the same way. Because the first time he told me about his secret, he said that he doesn't feel nor think what Justin feels or thinks and vice versa. So does this mean that Justin likes me but Jungkook doesn't?
-You mean Jungkook? What about him?- He said, loosing his smile and looking a bit annoyed.
-I mean, what... what does he feel?- I wanted to hide, I felt so shy asking that, but I had to know.
He stepped back. His eyes were burning. He looked pissed.
-Oh I know where this is going... And the answer is no, Shina... You can't have us both... I don't know what he feels and I honestly don't care, but I'm not sharing you with him...- He said with a firm tone and I got shivers up my spine.