His Two Lives || JJK

Cute And Hot

-I'm... what?- He asked, with his cheeks red... from running probably.
-Never mind... Uhmm so, I wanted to meet you to talk about something...-
Good job, Shina, change the topic! That always works!
He didn't answer, so I kept talking.
-So, as you may know, Jungkook and I...-
-Yeah, I know that part, can you skip to the point?- He interrupted me, annoyed.
-Uhmm, so... My question is... Can we... I mean, are you... Do you...-
Shit! I'm blabbering! How do I say this?
-Wait, what's the question again?- He asked, laughing.
-Shut up!- I said, pushing him, to make him stop laughing at me.
-Now you see what it feels like...- He said, referring to the fact that I was laughing at him earlier.
-Okay, I'm sorry... I didn't know you were sensitive...-
-Well, I'm many things that you don't know about...-
-Can I try?-
-Try what?- He asked, confused.
-To know you better...- I was getting shy while saying that. I mean, it could have been a good start, instead of forcing him to be with me only because I'm already with Jungkook. He thinks he's a different person, so it's probably right to treat him that way, at least for now. After all, we didn't really know each other that much. Instead, I had known Jungkook for a while already.
-What do you mean?- He asked.
-What I said...-
Don't make me explain myself, please! It's already embarrassing. I mean, I've confessed to you like a thousand times already, give me a break!
-You mean, go on dates and stuff like that?- He asked, skeptical.
-Only if you want to...-
-But you're Jungkook's girlfriend...-
-I think it's fine for him...-
-Well, it is not for me!- His expression changed to an annoyed one and his voice was a bit rougher.
Oh no, this is gonna end up with him walking away like last time!
-Wait, please just... Think about it, okay? Let me know when you decide... I'll go now...- I said and left him there, probably confused.
At least this time I'm the one walking away and he can't leave me out of anger!
I walked fast, hoping he wouldn't follow me and luckily he didn't. I really believed he needed time to think. After all, this was the first time for him to deal with something like this. I mean, it was a first for me too, but I've always been good at adapting myself to new situations and not let my feelings confuse my mind. Even though it was pretty difficult to think straight when either Justin or Jungkook were in front of me being either cute or hot or both at the same time.

I got home after a few minutes of walking. I got to my room and tried to do something to distract myself, but I couldn't. I've never been a patient person, I've always wanted everything there and then, so the situation with Justin was killing me. The fact that I was already Jungkook's girlfriend wasn't of any help. I still couldn't feel like I was his girlfriend, not until Justin was going to be part of the relationship too. It felt like I was half dating him and I really couldn't stand the thought. For some weird reason I just wanted all of him. I felt like I couldn't fully like Jungkook if there wasn't Justin and viceversa.
This is crazy! I'm gonna go nuts!

That night I hardly slept and the next morning at school I looked like a zombie.
-Everything ok?- Soojin asked me when she saw me.
-Yeah, I just didn't sleep well...- I answered.
-Looks more like you didn't sleep at all...- Hoseok said, starting to laugh, but stopping as soon as I sent him a deadly glare.
When the school bell rang, we all started going inside, but Jungkook stopped me by taking my hand.
-Hey, I... wanted to apologize about leaving yesterday... I think you figured it was Justin's fault...- He said once he saw our friends and everyone else getting further away from us.
-Mmm... Yeah, I figured...- I said, still not totally convinced about what went down the day before, but deciding to get over it.
-So, are you really okay?-
-Yeah, I told you, I just had a rough night...- I said smiling, trying to reassure him.
-And why's that?- He asked.
-I just had a lot on my mind...-
-Does Jack have to do anything with it?-
I smiled.
-Is somebody jealous?- I asked, getting closer to him, wanting to kiss him so badly, since we hadn't had a moment for ourselves since we kissed at his place.
-Uhmm... We're gonna be late, let's go...- He said in a rush, walking past me towards the school door.
I stayed there for a few seconds, confused. I was trying to figure out if he was just flustered or if there was something else going on.
It's not paranoia time, Shina! Snap out of it and get to class!

During school hours I thought about it, because I obviously wasn't listening to the teacher. Jungkook and I had never talked about telling our friends about our relationship.
Maybe earlier he didn't want anyone to see us, that's why he got away. So does this mean he doesn't want people to know about us? Why?
During lunch time, we usually sit next to each other, just out of habit since we've been sitting next to each other since the very first day we met at the cafeteria, but that day he sat in between Seokjin and Namjoon.
Why is he avoiding me now? Oh God, isn't lunatic Justin already enough? Now I need to worry also about Jungkook? He doesn't want me anymore, is this it? Fuck it, I hate this!

-Jungkook, can I talk to you outside?- I said, standing up and interrupting whoever was talking.
-But, we are... eating...- He said, softly.
-Outside! Now!- I said firmly, starting to walk away and feeling him standing up too and following me.
-When will we have a peaceful lunch break?- I heard Namjoon say from afar and everyone laughed with him.
But I was too upset to see the irony.

-So? What is it?- I asked him once we were alone in a desert hallway of the school.
-You called me here, I should be the one asking that question...- He said, standing pretty far from me.
-No, I mean, what is this? Why do you keep trying to stay away from me? You don't want them to know about us? Or did you already change your mind about us? What is it?- I asked, my tone being pretty mad, even though I was trying to look cool, like it didn't bother me, but mission failed! It was pretty obvious I was upset.
-What? No, nothing of that!- He said, looking like he was about to get closer but stopping himself.

What the hell is going on?