He cheated

Chapter 19

Man's Pov

Letter 5

Hey lover,

Its me again. Your ex wife Allina. This is the last letter i am writing to you my lover. As i am leaving with my heart numb, ihave been walking away from you more and more. The days you spend with her is the time i spend with my child. The room for him/her is still not decorated. Do you think i should paint it grey so it could be neutral for my boy or my girl. I never get to know what i was having.

Was it a baby girl or a baby boy?

I visited the doctor today, she said i have some complications because of that i could never give birth. I could never be a mom lover!

Doctor said with the stress, the weaken bones and depression its quite impossible for me to bear children.

I cried in your house so loud my lover. I thrashed the guest room or should i say my baby's room. I'm sorry I'll fix it my lover... but not right now.

I'm tierd my lover,can i sleep and never wake up.

I picked the pills he gave me for depression, i thought to take all in once and end this pain.

Why can't you love me, what have i done? Is it ok to say that, once I'm gone she will take the place in your heart.

Oh!my bad. She already there. Isn't she?

Is it going to be like this. You should have left me lover it would have been easy for me to endure the betrayal. Knowing you never love me broke my heart into such tiny pieces that will never be collected. But not my love for you it will be there forever, i forgive you lover that's why i am going away. Please don't look out for me.

Wanna know my desire?

Let me just blow the smoke
at you and
make you dizzy for a while
so everytime you wake

your eye i fell on me

Your eyes you know much i loved your eyes, they used to say things you never told.

Your hands, i love them because they only touched me but then again the last two years they have been hers. They touched her and then me. I loathe it lover.

Your smile which i now crave to see, is for her. You don't smile for me anymore, your eyes i felt they lose their spark when you are with me. I am not saying to hurt you all i am saying is to know you better.

We were married for two years in our four year long marriage. First two years you were mine and then hers.

How much i wish to know where i fail to be good for you. Where i become such a responsibility for you that every night you only come to me when you think is needed. All those days i spent in your big house lover are the best days.

Wanna know why?

I was never been alone that time. My baby been there for me. His/her laugh i crave but you know sometimes i hear him/her laughing at me. Crying for me.

Screaming at me. That mommy you lost me.

Mommy you are bad.

Mommy you killed us.

How much sorry i am lover. Please get it back. I want my baby back.