Wabi-Sabi

15

It was a humid summer when I finally decided to visit the place after searching for it for weeks. I was so interested in what Wabi-Sabi is all about, but there was no location written, so I had to research on the internet and found out it is a Japanese philosophy.

And so I wondered, if it's a Japanese philosophy, maybe what I actually need to look for is a place that somehow resembles the culture of Japan.

I found this place—a simple one. It had wooden fences and modest cottages in the backyard, reminiscent of traditional Japanese villages. The cottages, with their low, tiled roofs and paper sliding doors, makes me feel the ambiance of what Japan should look like if I get to see it with my own eyes. A smile formed on my face as I felt my heart fill with love upon seeing bouquets of bougainvilleas everywhere.

I wanted to cry because the last time I saw these flowers, I was 13 years old. Now, at the age of 19, the sight of them brought back memories. I hadn't seen such a serene scenery for years, as this place was rooted outside the city. My life had been consumed by trying to please my friends, and I had forgotten about the beauty of nature.

I stared off into space after remembering them. Matapos ang pangyayari last year, hindi na sila muling kumausap sa akin, ultimong pag-ngiti hindi na nila naipakita sa akin. Ewan ko lang kung sa pagtalikod ko, may sinasabi sila. Humingi naman sila ng tawad pero iyon ang huling pagkakataon na kinausap nila ako.

I loved them, but I also love myself. I cared about them, yet I was abandoned and invalidated. I was silenced for years and shrank to the smallest person I could ever be just to fit in, just to make their ideas of me a reality.

It's been a month now since what happened to us at the café, how we cried while staring at each other, and how his face begged when I told him I couldn't allow him to pursue me.

A whole month has gone by, kaya siguro hindi ko pa siya todong nakalimutan na at tandang-tanda ko pa ang mukha niya, pati yata amoy niya naaamoy ko kung saan-saan. Kahit sa banyo nga amoy na amoy ko, eh.

Lalo na kung uuwi ako tuwing gabi dala-dala ang mga pandesal, siyempre ubos na yung sa kaniya kaya ako na ang bumibili. Sariwa pa sa alala ko na minsan na rin kaming nagkasama dito, kung paano niya pinakain ang mga aso.

Napapalibot tuloy ng mga paningin yung mga aso sa tuwing papakainin ko sila ng mga pandesal, siguro hinahanap nila si Isaac.

Someone greeted me, and she was at the fence, waving at me.

"Hello, dear. It seems you found your place?" She smiled, and her voice was so soft too.

"Hi, I'm Maya," I walked towards her in my white skim dress and a pair of silk ivory sandals, letting my hair loose, "Well, I think I just did," I giggled.

Grabe naman! Outdoor wedding ang atake ko ngayon sa suot kong 'to. Dapat talaga makita 'to ni Isaac, tignan natin kung hindi luluwa ang mga mata niya sa ganda ko.

"Come inside," she opened the fence, which was just knee level, reminding me of a country town where they have a farm inside.

"So, what's all this?" I asked as I stepped onto the cobblestone with my sandals.

I looked around and was surprised to find that it was much bigger on the inside than it appeared from the outside. There was a raft of ducks paddling on the creeks, and above them stretched wooden bridges, adorned with hanging lanterns, crisscrossing the water. Towering acacia trees swayed gently in the breeze, casting dappled shadows across the path.