Wabi-Sabi

1

17th of September, 2017

Life is unpredictable.

Death always remains a mystery, shrouded in the enigma of the future. It's as though our very essence hangs in the balance, contingent upon the meticulous care we afford ourselves. Each passing day unfolds like a riddle, casting shadows of uncertainty upon our path. We grapple with the boundless depths of our journey, uncertain of its duration or the moment when the ceaseless motion of the world surrounding us will come to rest

Do you think people will still remember the remnants of our memories with them from the days when we were still alive?

Life is like a candle, we never know when the flame of life, which gives us strength to fight what needs to be fought, defend what needs to be defended, and avoid what needs to be avoided in a world full of criticism, will go out.

—

Minsan nga tinatanong ko sarili ko kung anong mangyayari sa 'kin matapos ang sampung taon. Ano kaya ang itsura ko matapos ang sampung taon? Magbabago din kaya ang buhay namin? Ang Pilipinas? May pagbabago din kaya?

"Lights on!"

Nagbalik ako sa ulirat matapos marinig ang boses ng bunso kong kapatid na si Naya. Ilang oras na rin pala ang nagdaan matapos mawalan ng kuryente ang buong subdivision.

"Bumalik na pala ang ilaw, si Mama?"

"Umutang kay Aling Nena!"

"Again?" Nanlalaki ang mga matang tanong ko. "Ilang beses ko ng pinagsabihan yang si mama na wag ng umutang kay Aling Nena, parang hindi niya alam ang pag-uugali ng matandang babaeng yun!" Napabuntong-hininga nalang ako tsaka hinipan ang nag-iisang kandila na nakapatong sa maliit na bangko.

"Wala na raw kasi siyang pera," ramdam ko ang lungkot sa tono ng pananalita ni Naya.

Hindi nalang ako muling nagsalita pa at umakyat nalang sa taas, hindi ko kayang tignan ang reaksyon ni Naya. Sanay siya sa may kayang pamumuhay, siguro unti-unti na niyang natatanggap na hindi na mababalik kung anong buhay ang meron kami noon.

As I entered the room, eyeshadow, eyeliners, blush-on, liptint, mascara, foundation, and eyebrows immediately greeted me. I did apply everything on my face, siguro naging coping mechanism ko na rin ang maglagay ng make-up sa tuwing nilalamon ako ng kalungkutan.

Well, it's true what they say: you can mask your emotions, but your face reveals it all.

Hindi gaya ni Naya na unti-unti ng natatanggap na ito na talaga kami at mahirap ng ibalik ang meron kami noon, ako hindi.

I used to live like a princess and lived a privileged life. For instance, I recall one particular moment in primary school when I celebrated my 8th birthday; it was delightful, and everyone was envious of what I had. In senior high, I often treated my friends to visits to one of the resorts owned by my family. I always kept up to date with the release of every designer brand.

When father died in a car crash, doon na nawala ang lahat. Nabaon kami sa utang noon kaya walang ibang pagpipilian si mama kundi isangla ang natitirang bahay sana namin kaso hindi na niya natubos kaya napunta na talaga sa pinagsanglaan niya ang bahay.

The only thing my friends know is that even though my father is gone, our business and way of life are still intact, that it did not disappear as we had hoped it would.