Inhaled - Tom Hiddleston

13. Scared to get my hopes up

Haley and I have moved all our stuff during the last week and have finally moved in. My room isn't big, but not as small as my last. I have a queen sized bed, and bought new pillows and blankets which I love. I also bought myself a TV that I hung on the wall. We do have a large flat-screen out in the living room, but it's alright to have a smaller one for myself. I also decorated my room and it feels a lot more like home than my last apartment. The bathroom is amazing. The shower is large and it's possible to both have the rainfall and the shower head on at the same time... It's a double sink and lots of space for our stuff too. The kitchen is nice and modern, with warm grey furniture and a kitchen island. My room is closest to the hall and door whilst Haley's and Ella's rooms are further down by the kitchen and living room. We have this large sofa which is so comfortable I almost fall asleep just by sitting in it. It's also so nice to be living with the girls. We have been talking and having fun non-stop. We baked one night, which ended up with a movie night, and it's so good to get to go to work together. It's been a week now, and I don't regret it at all. Best decision ever...
Tom and I haven't really gotten to talk this past week. We've both been very busy, but I can't lie... It's making the pit in my stomach grow. I'm second guessing everything and am I'm not able to concentrate whenever he's near, because I'm so nervous. We haven't had any scenes alone either, so the only times we've talked is with our other friend's at lunch and stuff.

Ella is going out tonight, and Haley and I decided to have a movie-night, just the two of us.

"Ella doesn't know about you and Tom?" Haley asks after she leaves.

"No..."

"Okay... But y/n you have to tell me what's going on! I'm dying of curiosity here!"

"I don't know... I'm scared I'm reading too much into things..."

"Come on! He's totally into you! The way he looks at you and talks to you and talks about you..."

"He talks about me?" My body feels like warming up by hearing that.

"He does." She smiles. "Have you guys been on more dates?"

"I don't know if I'd call it a date, but we ordered dinner at his place..."

"Y/n stop kidding, that is totally a date."

"Nothing happened though, and it was over a week ago."

"No kiss or no sex?"

"No sex" I laugh. "No kiss either."

"Really?"

"Well... He walked me home and then I kissed him, but nothing else."

Haley nods.

"But now I haven't spoken with him all week. We haven't had any scenes together or been alone... Since..."

"Since what?"

"Since the kissing scene and that stuff."

"Oh, so the last time you two kissed was in front of the camera?"

I crack a smile "Exactly..."

Haley nods as she examining me with a broad grin. "I'm still not sure that I entirely believe that you two didn't have sex at that hotel..."

This makes me laugh. "We didn't... I have told you a hundred times. I would have I guess, but it never came to that. We did some stuff... but no, we didn't have sex."

"Wait, what stuff?" Haley squeaks.

"And then later on as I've told you, he said he wanted us to go more slowly." I ignore her question. Simply because I have no idea how to explain the stuff we did... Anyways I'm starting to believe that Tom and I won't ever be a thing. "and I'm still scared to get too hung up in him, because I mean... it's so unrealistic that anything will ever happen. I don't want to get my hopes up. He probably just wants us to be friends now. We have to keep it professional, anyways."

"Y/n... Sometimes you're so oblivious. I'm like 100% sure that he really likes you. It's not unrealistic at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I think he's as scared as you are. You both like each other, and that is very obvious. At least to me, who know about it."

"I don't know Haley..."

"You have to tell me if anything happens though."

"Of course, but it won't."

«Do you have his number?»

I shake my head. "He doesn't have mine either."

Haley rolls her eyes. "Here's what you're gonna do: next time you two are alone, you find a way to give him your number, or ask his."

"I don't have the guts to do that..."

"Shut up, you do. When are you guys filming your next scene together?"

"Tomorrow..."

"Then do it tomorrow. Simple."

I sigh and shake my head. She is kind of right though, I'm just too scared.

"But you know... I feel like..."

Haley looks at me, silently whilst waiting for me to continue.

"Ever since he had to watch my sex scene... I feel weird. I mean he saw me naked. At least the closest I could get to naked... And I.. Didn't handle that very well. The scene." My eyes are fixed at my fidgeting hands.

Haley puts a hand on my shoulder. "I understand, y/n. It must've been a hard scene to do. I wanted to punch Robbie so hard when he teased you about it.. Didn't Tom go after you?"

I nod, a smile appearing when thinking about it. "He did. He comforted me."

"There you go. I don't think he finds it weird, y/n. It's your job."

"You're right." I nod.

"I always am." Haley laughs as she hugs me. "Now you have to take some initiative. Get your guy, y/n!"

A laughter escapes me. "Maybe I'll try. Slowly..."

Haley nudges me, before turning on the movie.

She knows how to make me feel better. She really does. I know Tom and I are doing a scene alone tomorrow at the end of the day. I was quite nervous about it, but now I'm more excited. The only reason we haven't talked that much this past week is because we've been busy. Right?