♥ forty two ♥

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I opened my eyes to a pit of emptiness. The warmth Jungkook provided suddenly not detected. Just a swirl of darkness, clouding my vision.

I stood up from my cloud of thunder and looked around, calling out. For anyone. For everyone.

"Jungkook!" Silence.

"Namjoon?!" Nothing.

"Taehyung!" No.

"Yoongi!" Emptiness.

"Jin?" Cold.

"Hoseok!!" Darkness.

"JIMIN!" Fog.

My knees folded, my body heavier than I remembered. An unknown gravity pushing me down.

I cried. Tears pouring down my cheeks like waterfalls. But they weren't tears. It was drops. Drops of a red substance that looked so enticing. So inviting. I wanted to watch it drip all day.

Blood.

There were pools near my eyes, my fingers being stained. I thought, 'this is loneliness. This is how my world ends. Dieing useless like I always feared.'

But...aren't you supposed to be the only one in loneliness? Isn't lonely a word you use when there is no one else? No one to turn to? Why are there others?

Looking up, I met the gaze of several others. All looking down on me. Maybe this is worse than loneliness. The empty feeling, knowing that even when people have the chance to help you, they watch in pity and disgust.

I'd like to tell them if I could. Karma's a real bitch.

A fog covered my vision, pulling me into a false state of safety. As if there was the warmth of a hug. If the hug was a kidnappers knives.

Now all the people were down. Like me. Curled on the floor, helpless. Nothing but a spiral of cries and shouts for help.

I couldn't help but smirk, thinking back to what they were a second ago.

How did that saying go? The higher the pedestal, the harder the fall.

Slowly, I stood up from the ground, the gravity somehow weaker now that there were more people to keep in line. Others to force loneliness and pain onto.

I stumbled through the only path between the group of bodies. Entering a space of purple and black. A galaxy almost. But there's something about the galaxy and space like this that's so deadly.

The more you look, the more you get sucked in. And you know what's so bad about that? Being stuck in that beauty?

Soon it becomes your reality. What's wrong with that?

It's a reality you can't breath in. There is no oxygen in space. Nothing to live by in the galaxy.

This was the next pain I experienced. A fantasy I knew I could never grasp. The idea of it was so absurd I could only laugh. Hysteria. Something that opened people's eyes to the real world. And how crazy our fantasies could be.

Well space isn't the only thing that can drown you and your life.

Water. One of the many things capable of pain.

I was drowning in the black whirlpool of water. It was painful, yes but nothing compared to the vision I had yet to see.

A fear I had never felt before. If the bullets hit me I'd be okay.

My seven saviors, out of no where, appeared before me. But I was tied.

Tied to nothing but a large pill. The size of a boulder. I knew the colors too well. A sleeping pill.

I looked back at my soulmates, pleading with my eyes for help.

They just stared, emotionless. Not moving a muscle.

Then something horrid. Nothing good ever comes after good.

Whatever fairytale my mom told me as a kid ended in a happily ever after. But their lives don't stop when the book ends.

Cinderella divorced her Prince Charming. Raja ate Aladdin at the command of Jasmine. Ariel willingly let herself drown. Sleeping beauty took a nap and slept forever. Snow whites husband made her an apple pie...

My seven princes weren't bullet proof.

"NO!" I tried to scream, but my voice was muted. I watched in horror as they dropped to the ground. I prayed.

Prayed this was really a dream. This was really my fantasy. Prayed this wasn't reality. I half expected one of them to say "cut!". As if they were filming Not Today.

As Jungkook's head hit the ground he smiled at me. The tears of blood appeared once again as I screamed for someone. Anyone.

Everything faded as I fell to the ground, sobbing for what felt like eternity. A dark euphoria that made me feel messed up. Shaken as I cried my eyes out.

Screaming for help. Only a sound echoing off the walls.

And then I was awake.

.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Another chapter!!! Sorry for the uh depressing mood but I wanted to further share her pain and thoughts. How she felt when she overthinks things. I hope you feel more connected to Y/n!

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