Tortured Awakening (Book #1)

Chapter Thirty- Four

I had not left the back gardens, since Killian tried forcing himself on me.

Despite how I felt even more trapped, being outside was comforting to me.

"Cordelia, there you are" Florence said, walking towards me.

The sun had gone down by now and I had been sitting here, lost in my own thoughts.

She sat down beside me "You've been missing all morning. I finally went to Killian and asked where you were"

"And he said I was out here?" I asked.

She nodded "He certainly did not sound happy about it though" she said, taking my hand "You're outside though! Please tell me you're just as happy as I am about this!" she said, giggling.

I gave a small smile "I'm disappointed that I'm not as happy as I should be"

"You're not satisfied?" she asked, confused.

I shook my head "Well, yes and no"

"You built it up to be more than what it was, right?" she asked.

I nodded "Yes"

"I'm sorry to hear that. I do know that you longed for this moment and I wish it met your expectations" she said, giving my hand a squeeze.

I sighed "I will live" I couldn't help but laugh at the irony "You know what I mean"

She looked down "Something has changed"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She shook her head "I can't quite figure it out exactly, but I can tell that something is not quite right about you"

I sighed "So much has happened in the past day that has me all over the place"

"Such as?" she asked.

"Killian is becoming more aggressive. He has broke me down too many times and each time only brings me closer to a larger breakdown" I said, knowing that my explanation made little sense.

I was confusing myself and I was stumbling over my words.

I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated.

"Cordelia, you are too flustered and it worries me" she whispered, showing her concern.

"I have no idea of what is happening to me, but something is restraining me and then there is another part that is making me push those until they have no other option than to force me into something" I said.

I looked down.

"He's scaring me, Florence." I said, feeling my voice break.

She shook her head "Why? I do not believe that Killian would ever cause you any real harm"

"Something is not right about the way he is acting, it is too possessive and there are moments when he reminds me of Nathaniel" I said, feeling a chill go through me, as I said his name.

"I am deeply sorry to hear that" she said, shaking her head "Perhaps Killian is no longer the same, from when I truly knew him"

I sighed "People change, right?"

She nodded "Yes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst"

I groaned "Everything is just too much"

"These worries that you are having are consuming you and that is not good" she said.

I closed my eyes, wishing that everything could just be different.

"What else is bothering you?" she asked.

I looked down, trying to choose my words correctly, but even I was stuck once more "What all do you know about Luther?"

"Killian's human worker?" she asked.

I nodded "Yes"

She shrugged "I just know that he's been here for his whole life, why?"

"There is something odd about him. The way he speaks about certain things, it's almost worrying" I said, unsure.

I groaned "I know it sounds strange and it may be my paranoid thoughts, but something is not right"

"Things have not been right for some time, Cordelia" she said, facing me.

"I'm aware, but last night and this morning, I spoke to Luther and he spoke of having two faces, one for show and one for secret, I guess and this morning he spoke of such disgust regarding Killian and how Killian treats me with everything great and more here" I said.

"Killian does not treat you great though" she said, confused.

I nodded "I know, but Luther says otherwise"

"Well if this is Killian treating you well, I do not wish to know how he treats Luther" she whispered.

"I just do not understand any of this" I said.

"Perhaps this is something we should not look in to" she suggested.

"Why not?" I asked.

She looked down "With everything else going on, our main priority is making sure that you remain safe"

"But what if the two are somehow related?" I asked.

"Related?" she asked.

I nodded "The way Luther speaks about certain things, they sound so sinister and we're dealing with something sinister in a way"

"Cordelia, maybe you are trying to find something to link the two so you can better understand what is trying to end your existence. It might be more comfortable for you, in a way and that might be what you need, but it might not be what is true" she said, looking at me, concerned. "I know that things are confusing, but you must think realistically"

"This could be realistic, Florence! Something is not right about him and with everything that is going on, it just makes sense that everything is linked together!" I said, standing up, while feeling frustrated

She stood up and followed me, as I walked away.

"Cordelia, stop! I know that you are scared and I know that I'm pretty much the only one that you've told about how you really feel, regarding your situation. Do not add more difficulty to the matter by bringing in a new problem, when we haven't even figured out the last one" she said, trying to get through to me.

I sighed and stopped walking "Fine"

She looked around "You should come inside, it's not safe for you to be out here alone, when it's dark"

I sighed, knowing that she would not let her opinion on the matter go and that how I felt would need to stay with me.

All I did was nod, while she linked her arm with mine and led me into the house, while horrible thoughts ran through my mind about everything that was going on.