𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗, carlos sainz jr.

𝐢𝐢.

song of the chapter
the moment i knew by taylor swift

❝  what do you do when the one who means the most to you
is the one who didn't show?  ❞

―

one year ago...

It was finally the eve Camila's 23rd birthday, and to say she was excited would be an understatement. Even though as a Taylor Swift fan nothing could beat her excitement at turning 22, she was still buzzing, almost bouncing off the walls. She could feel it in her veins, her energy was pulsing through her body, reverberating around the room. Her and Neymar had been back together for 6 months, their longest stretch ever, and he was finally going to be there for her party. He had flown out from Paris just for her, just to be there for her birthday. He was going to be here, and Camila was beyond excited. Despite how long they had known each other, he had never been at Camila's yearly birthday party. They always seemed to have somehow broken up when the New Year rolled around.

The young actress couldn't lie to herself though, no matter how much she might try. Things had been weird between her and Neymar recently. Everything felt strange, but even with the strangeness, Camila had somehow convinced herself that just being together tonight would fix everything. That they, she, would somehow make it okay. That they could somehow go back to how they were when they had first met, happy and in love. She purposefully ignored every word her brother had told her over the years, that it had never really been love. That Camila didn't know what love was. That she would be better off without Neymar. What did Lewis know? He wasn't the one dating Neymar.

If she was being honest though, Camila knew she didn't love Neymar, at least not as much as she should, or maybe as much as she once had. Things hadn't been the same between them in years, not since the early days in Barcelona. This was Neymar's last chance to make it okay, to bring them back to life. If he just came, if he just loved her like he promised he would, he would have Camila forever. He would never be alone.

Camila stood at the door of the club, greeting everyone that came in with a smile and a hug. She was waiting for one person though, waiting for him to just show up. He had promised after all. She refused to believe he wasn't going to show. Maybe she was delusional, maybe she was lying to herself, but he had to come.

But then, Camila watched the hour hand on the clock slowly tick closer to midnight, and as the hours passed, the feeling of dread in her stomach grew. When Lewis stepped on stage and wished her a happy birthday, all Camila could think was that Neymar still wasn't there. It was five minutes to New Years, five minutes to her birthday, and Neymar still wasn't there. It was an hour into her 23rd birthday, and he still wasn't there. Camila could feel her lip trembling, the comfort of the velvet couch in the corner and the martini in her hand no longer enough to keep the tears at bay. Camila stood abruptly, pushing through the crowd as fast as she could. She would not cry in front of everyone at her birthday party. She made her way to the bathroom, twisting around all the celebrating bodies, wiping her eyes aggressively as the tears began to spill. She didn't even notice how Lewis stood from the bar, gesturing for Charles to follow him, walking after Camila into the bathroom. She only noticed when the door banged open behind her, making her jump and turn to the mirror. There stood the reflection of her brother and Charles, the two people who had known her the longest, the two people who knew everything she was feeling right now. So many people asked Camila why she stayed with Neymar, why didn't she just ditch him? But, she didn't have to try and explain why to Charles and Lewis, they knew why, they had been it all. They had seen how Camila strived for Neymar's validation, how desperately she believed that no one could possibly love her better than he did. Even if he treated her like shit.