Peter's sister, Nova II NovaVerse 1

Nova

Three weeks since I've been allowed out of bed. The same routine. A dozen machines connected to me at night and meds which are at least half that. They keep me awake all night and numb my body and emotion until the point I feel like a huge void has sucked my whole identity.

I don't care about anything anymore. I can't feel anything anymore. I want to feel but I can't. The only thing I feel is fear and anxiety. Turns out I'm now diagnosed with the latter.

I curl up under the covers and try to block out any light. I was never a morning person. Perhaps it was the tiredness which overtook me in the early hours of the day. Now I just hate the light. Stupid, stupid light. It baths the world in sunshine while I'm still stuck in this dark fog in my mind.

I move Peter's arm off me. He's trying to make me feel better by letting me know I'm not alone. But I am. He can't change my mind. How can I not be alone when I feel like I'm the only person who understands? But I also don't care. I don't have the energy.

"Nova! I have uno, wanna play?" Sunny's cheerful voice rings through my head. I block my ears even though it won't do any good.

"Be quiet," I respond.

I can cry without feeling sad. I can scream of fear when there's nothing to be afraid of. I can see things. Hear voices which weren't there before. The person who's making their coffee in Germany? I hear their conversation with their loved ones. What about the whales near Australia? I hear them. I hear everything. Teddy has made that possible along with my power. The necklace containing it was the only thing which brought me back. It takes lives. Even my own. I resent my power for these reasons.

"You okay?" A groggy Peter asks me (he's forced me into wearing the 'CI just in case').

Don't be a burden don't be a burden don't be a burden

"I'm fine," I respond simply, although my voice a little too high.

"I'm here for you, y'know that, right?" He asks. I nod. I don't believe it.

"I'll always be here for you."

He pulls me into a tighter hug as we lay in bed.

He'll have to get up soon. It's May 12th. The day Ned proclaimed to be my makeshift birthday. I resent this day. I want to be alone forever. To sulk in my thoughts and let the darkness overtake me.

When I think of the darkness, I see a building. The city is twinkling and the cars honk at each other. I'm watching the whole thing from the top of that building. The wind plays with my hair and causes it to ship in my face. It's cold. Everything is cold. Clouds overtake the sky and soon a blizzard is in full motion. And then the wind is all around me. I'm falling. The ground is coming closer. Almost about to hit the ground. To feel sweet bliss. So clos-

"Happy birthday!" Ned exclaims. He just interrupted my fantasy.

MJ repeats the same phrase and Peter sits up on the bed and soon joins a group hug I strongly didn't want.

They got me a Polaroid camera and some film for it.

"So now we can take photos of our time together!" Ned said excited.

They all wanted the first picture to be a photo of all of us. I agreed. We were about to take the picture when someone barged in the room. Well, many someone's.

"Can't forget us!" Sunny said, the Avengers right behind him. They carried balloons of multiple shades of blue since that was my favorite color and Steve held a cake.

I tried to smile a little for them and soon after taking the picture and cutting the cake they left me alone like I wanted. Nearly. Bruce had just finished attaching all the machines and making sure I had taken the meds. Peter stayed in the room with me. He was already fast asleep.

I took out a pen and a paper and started to write.

Dear everyone, I love you. The first memory I had when I woke up in the forest was of pure terror. I spent eight months living like that. Then you found me and made my life so much better. But I think I made yours worse.

To Tony, thank you for taking the job of being my Dad for a while even when you really didn't want to.

To Stephen and Bruce, thank you for being so caring and keeping me alive (of course, I will be gone by the time you finish reading this letter).

To Steve, Nat, Bucky, and Wanda, thanks for always being there for me.

To Peter, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But you deserved someone better. I was nothing but a burden. I hope you'll have an amazing life after I'm gone. You're already an amazing person.

And I have some apologies as well.

I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for worrying all of you. I'm sorry for being such a danger. I'm sorry I was never good enough. I'm sorry I even came into your lives because all I did was make it worse. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you. And I want to say sorry to myself for what I'm about to do (when you read this, it will already be done).

I'll be at peace soon.

You've all been amazing. I love all of you.

I'm standing on that roof. I think I'm ready. I close my eyes and think. I think of some of my earlier memories of my universe.

I walked near the lake with Naomi. I laughed with her. Held her hand. Kissed her.

Then I woke up in the woods. Lost. Running to civilization for help only to run back realizing I was the problem.

Keller found me. Beat me. He tortured me and I accepted it for eight months strait. His face haunted me every moment. I was covered in cuts, blood, and bruises.

The Avengers found me. Peter found me. I felt happiness for the first time since before I lost my memory. He showed me what I thought was my first movie at the time. He comforted me when I came back to this universe.

May took me in. I felt scared but welcomed. Peter helped me feel safe and normal. May was like a mom. Then she went missing.

We stayed with Mr. Stark.

We went back to my universe and met Sunny.

I went into a coma.

I came back.

So much has happened to me in the past year and ten months. And it was too much.

I wonder if I'll be able to see my family when I jump. Or would I have to share the same universe to have the same afterlife? Or what if nothing came after I jumped. What if it was just a void.

I inched closer to the very edge and watched all the cars below me. I'm ready.

I jump.

The air is cold and whips in my face just as I imagined it would be. The lights and sidewalk inch closer to me and I know I'm crying a little now. It's been a wild ride.

And arm straps around my waist and pulls me back up the building.

"Why would you do that?!" A crackling voice-which seems to be on the verge of tears- yells. But it's getting farther and farther away. My world is dimming.

"Hey, Pete."