locked up | billie eilish

15

i woke up around 2am. i was still on the couch but billie wasn't there so i got up and checked the whole apartment. she wasn't anywhere.

i checked and my car keys were gone so i called billie.

"where are you?" i asked.

"i'm selling, what's up?"

"billie it's 2am.... come back home" i sighed.

"i just went out for a drive because i don't like being cooped up. i'll be back in like a half hour" billie whispered.

"please be safe billie" i remind her.

"i will" she said before hanging up.

about a hour passed and i was getting really worried about billie. finally i heard a knock at the door. i looked through the peep hole and saw her.

"please let me in blake" she whimpered.

what the hell? i open the door and billie came in, slamming the door shut behind her and locking it.

"what the fuck is going on?" i asked.

billie look a mess. she just looked at me and hugged me while sobbing.

"answer me billie."

"i almost got kidnapped" billie sobbed.

"what? by who?" i asked.

"i went to go sell to my regular and i went inside and there was a guy there and he tried touching on me and when i hit his hand away he tried grabbing me" billie could barely get her words out.

"it's okay billie, you're here with me. you're safe" i whisper, holding her tight.

"i got this though" billie pulled away and pulled out a few chunks of money from her pockets. there had to be around 40 bands.

"holy crap" i whisper. "let me put it in the safe"

i put it all in the safe and shared the password with billie so she could get it any time she needs.

"i don't want you selling anymore." i say flat out.

"what? why?" billie asked.

"because it's too dangerous billie. i don't want you to get followed back here. and i don't want anything happening to you" i said, remaining calm.

"that's not fucking fair blake. i survived didnt i? and i got money from it" she yelled.

"i understand that completely but it's really dangerous billie. i'd be more then happy to put a down payment on a bigger house so you don't feel so trapped at home but i do not want you going out to sell drugs" i said calmly

"are you really trying to fucking control my life blake?" billie asked.

"yeah, i'm controlling you so that you won't get fucking hurt billie" still calm.

"you're not gonna tell me how to live my life. fuck off blake" billie snapped.

she grabbed the keys from the counter but as she walked past me i grabbed her and picked her up. 

"put me down ass hole" she kicked her feet.

i walked into the bedroom and put her on the bed.

"listen billie. you can be mad at me all you want but i don't want you getting hurt" i tell her.

billie was just sitting there, clearly upset. she wouldn't make eye contact with me.

"i especially don't want you going out without me knowing. what if you actually did get taken and i wouldn't have any clue about where you might be. it's dangerous billie. i can't lose you" at this point i was tearing up. billie was too, i could tell she felt bad. "i'm so glad you're okay. but please don't go out again."

"i won't" she whispered. "i'm sorry for yelling"

"i'm so glad you're okay" i say. i finally come to the realization of what could've happened to billie. "i love you"

billie looked me in the eyes. i watched as her eyes teared up.

"i love you blake" she whispered.

i grabbed her in a hug and picked her up. we just held each other.

after talking it out, i came to the conclusion that billie had abused drugs in the past whenever she felt any type of emotions so she didn't know how to deal with me telling her to stay and me telling her that i care about her and i love her made her very emotional.

we ended up cuddling till we fell asleep. 

well.. she fell asleep. i stayed up thinking about her, i really do love her. it's crazy how we got here though.