locked up | billie eilish

29

blake's pov

*tw-self harm*

"hey blake" chris yelled at me over the loud music.

we threw a huge party for billies second album to be released. me and chris talked for a while, we were both drinking and talking over work and everything.

billie came over eventually and said hi to chris and gave him a hug.

"we should have a three sum" billie whispered in my ear. she had to bend over since i was sitting and it happened to be right in front of chris. he didn't notice though which was a good thing.

"hm" i hummed back, not a yes but not a no.

i looked billie in the eyes, her pupils were dilated and i could feel her hand shaking in mine.

"what did you take mama?" i questioned her.

"u-uhm nothing, w-why?" she blinked hard.

"what did you take?" my grip on her arm got tighter.

"it's just a little coke" she giggled.

"a little? look at you billie." i said. she was shaking and couldn't stay still.

"i'm fine" she replied.

she got on me and tried to get me to fuck.

"get off me" i whispered in her ear.

"please daddy" she whimpered.

"billie get the fuck off me" i said again, i could feel my anxiety start to spike.

i hate knowing she's on drugs like that.

was i not enough for her..

"you're the reason i do drugs"  my mothers voice rings through my head.

billie can't handle me sober anymore.

she has to do drugs to deal with me.

"i hope this shit is laced so it'll fucking kill me and take me away from your useless ass, blake." my mothers voice.

my moms not here but she'll always be in my head.

billie doesnt want anything to do with me.

she doesn't love me.

she hates me.

"blake" chris whispered.

i looked up at him. "yeah?"

"you okay son?" he asked.

"can we go on a walk?" i asked.

"yeah man. i got you" he put a hand out to help me get up.

we walked around the neighborhood, i told him all about my mom and everything.