First And Forever (under reconstruction) (Wattys2018)

Chapter 53: Losing The One I Love

At his pained whisper of my name, my real name, my body kick starts into desperate action. I leap immediately towards my lover, pushing Liam gently onto his back as I pull his head onto my lap. He grips my wrist, trying to speak. I shush him before he can, gritting my teeth anxiously. I grab for my tweezers and first aid kit desperately, before I decide to leave the bullet in the wound out of fear of causing further harm. "Liam, it's ok, you're gonna be ok!" I push my palm flat against his wound with every ounce of strength I posses, blood staining my hand and my clothes as I try to keep his blood inside his arteries. Running footsteps are heard, the shouted voices of Liam's brothers' and our friends invading my ears as Liam's tight grip on my wrist slowly weakens. 

I push harder on the wound, linking my fingers the way one does while doing chest compressions, pressing as hard as I can. Liam cries out below me, but I shake my head, "I'm sorry Liam, I know it hurts but I have to hold it until we're able to get you to a hospital. Please hang on!" All my senses besides hearing and sight are completely non existent outside of keeping Liam alive in this exact moment of time. In the corner of my mind, I'm aware of what's going on around me out of habit, and I'm aware of the flashing lights that have finally arrived to deliver us salvation. I focus on nothing but Liam, locking his eyes with mine, "Liam, Liam please, you're going to be ok, ok you stupid stubborn man? You're going to live, and you're going to be the best damn father your sons and daughter will ever have. You haven't been speaking to me, I didn't get a chance to tell you since you refused to be in the same room as me. Liam, the baby I'm carrying is a girl. You're going to have a daughter, a little baby girl just like you wanted, you can't leave us now! Liam, Liam FIGHT GOD DAMMIT!" I'm sobbing by this point, begging and crying as he says nothing to my news, does nothing to my revelations. Tears fall faster from my eyes, anger sparks to life in my chest, "LIAM, FIGHT FOR ME, YOU PROMISED! YOU'RE MY SOLDIER GOD DAMMIT! FIGHT TO LIVE! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE CHILDREN TO RAISE!" I'm crying harder as his breath hitches harder than before, I struggle to keep the excessive amounts of blood inside his body.

His arm slowly falls from my wrist, finger by finger. His eyes start to slowly slide closed, but I desperately slap his face with the flat of both my feet, I need him alive! I can't live without him! I can't do this alone! I hear the shouting voices of the cops around me, the desperate voices of my love's brothers and our friends, but I'm only able to focus on Liam's beautiful blue eyes below me as I place as much pressure on his wound as I am able and beg him to stay here with me. He's said absolutely nothing since he got shot, and now I'm really starting to worry that the internal damage will be too much to repair. There's a paramedic next to me, shouting orders as he forces my hand off the wound and uncovers the waterfall of blood that'd been dying to pour out since the bullet entered his skin. Liam cries out as the paramedic's hands graze the torn flesh of his wound, his teeth gritting and back arching. I slap the paramedic, kicking, screaming and sobbing in desperation as I slam my hand back on the wound and continue to beg Liam to stay with me. Everything around me is tunneled, I hear nothing and see nothing at all, nothing other than Liam's bright blue eyes below me. 

Those bright beautiful blue eyes, those twin deep sapphire abysses that slowly start to get dimmer as I watch, his breathing more and more labored. His eyes are almost completely closed, despite all my efforts to save him and keep him here with me. I'm surprised when one of his hands cups my face gently and the other grips my wrist with surprising force. His body lunges upward, and his plush lips mould to mine in a kiss that speaks of eternal love. I'm in shock as my body rejoices, watching his body settles back to the ground, but snap to attention when he starts to speak, "I-I never stopped loving you, Clair. P-please don't cry. We- we were apart because of my fucking pride. You're my Baby, you always will be no matter what happens to me. T-take care of the kids for me, please. Tell- them about me, everyday. Tell them I love them, and-and that I'm sorry. N-name our daughter after me-." His hand slowly falls from my face, his eyes slowly sliding shut as his labored breathing quietly stops. I cry and beg him to stay with me, but it's too late. NO! I CAN'T LOSE HIM! I straddle his body, letting the muscle memory of my old lifeguard days guide me through the steps of CPR while my tears continue to fall. I can't accept it! I won't! However....no matter what I try, I'm unsuccessful. William Jackson Black, my Liam and my eternal Soldier, dies peacefully but painfully in my arms. My soulmate, my Soldier, my everything, never to breathe again. And as a familiar pair of pale arms encircle me, my heart slowly crumples and dies. I don't fight James as he tugs me back, I don't do anything. I just fall to my knees and scream my despair to the heavens, watching the pale shape of my other half's soul flying slowly and unconditionally out of my eternal reach. It's done, it cannot be undone. My mind shuts down, I go falling to the ground as everything that just happened catches up to me. My world goes black, taking me to what I hope is where my lover will reside so he can take me into his arms once more. 

Andddd I cried when I wrote this T.T I know Liam's dead, but there's more in store for Clair down the road, just be patient :)