Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter seven

Sleeping in my own bed was hard, I hate sleeping alone. Bright side? I was passed out the whole night, no stirring, no nightmares. No Izzy. The sleeping pills Coop got are hard core, no wonder he's tighter than a virgin with them.
I pack the last of my things and close my duffle bag. This is it. I'm leaving the safety of my girl and going back to him, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I know it will be days before I get home but it doesn't stop the nerves.

"Oh god it's really happening isn't it?" Iz is starting to freak out when she sees me come down the stairs.
"Yeah honey, it's alright though because he's going to call you all the time and he has that video calling so you can have cam sex every night. I won't even look over his shoulder and promise to only listen" I hug her to my body as she holds me.
"What about you?" She asks sad.
"We can have cam sex too but I'm pretty sure Coop will watch as well as listen, he has trouble respecting boundaries" I chuckle and she laughs just a little.
"I meant will you call me? I'm going to miss you too. Cole please come home to me" Iz hides in my chest.
"You are my home gorgeous. Shh Isabel, it will be like old times. We'll talk every night and I'll sing you to sleep then I'll be back with your man before you know it"
"Even though you've gone, you don't have to go. It's okay to change your mind, you owe him nothing. Not a fucking thing" Iz tells me suddenly mad.
"I know and I might, I have no idea what we have to talk about or what I will say to him. I'm not sure I even want to hear his voice, I don't know if I can face him" I admit and Iz pulls me closer.
"You are not the boy you were last time you saw him, just remember who you are now. Remind yourself that you are loved, you have family who love you. You are strong and smart and great, so brave and good. You are not the scared little boy under his control anymore and he can't hurt you ever again"
"I'm scared that when I see his face the last fifteen years will mean nothing, that the sound of his voice will have me cowering and shaking in my boots" I say quietly while she can't see me and I feel her sigh.
Izzy lets me go and bends down to her ankle, she removes the leather anklet I got her for her birthday with little white gold charms with her initials and a diamond love heart that dangles and throws the light.
She takes my hand and fastens it around my wrist.
"Then you think of me, remember I love you. When it gets too hard too look at him look at this and know I'm waiting for you to come home, that you can walk out of there and come home to me and he will still be there rotting slowly like the pathetic piece of shit he is" her fingers shake as she clasps it and I cover her hands with mine.
"Thank you" I nod trying not to cry in front of my woman.

"Do I get something too?" Coop asks behind me breaking our moment.
"I gave you my heart, that ring on your finger and the best Fucking head you've ever had a few hours ago, what more do you want lover?" Iz teases him letting me go.
"Only everything, I'm going to miss you so Fucking much" Coop drops his bag beside mine and holds his tiny wife, she looks so small in his hands.
"No you're not, you are going to have a great time with your brother. No ball and chain sucking the fun out of everything, whining about speed limits and counting your drinks. Titty bars and cheap motels, fast food and boy talk... But seriously I find out you have been driving too fast and I will sell every car you have and buy you a Prius" Izzy cries into his neck.
"The titty bars are good though right?" Coop teases her with a small smile.
"Touch a single one and I will know, you haven't seen crazy yet Bentley" she growls and bites his neck.
"No one can come close Baby girl, you have me so fucking whipped" he chuckles and kisses her forehead.
"I'll let you say your goodbyes. We'll talk soon honey" I tell them.
"Be safe Cole" Iz tells me with tears in her eyes.
"Yeah honey" I nod and turn, I take both bags to stop my hands from shaking.

"Cole wait!" Beth calls out from her front porch as I unlock the Ferrari.
"Gorgeous we already said our goodbyes, your husband will start suspecting you're really in love with me if you can't let me go" I smile as she locks her ams around me holding a large brown paper bag.
"I know I just wanted to give you something before you leave" she blushes and untangles from me.
"Something with tongue?" I purr cheeky and lean into her.
"Pig" she screws up her nose and turns her face so I can kiss her cheek.
"This pig will miss you girls, you be good for Mama now" I rub a hand over my nieces. "Uncle Cole will be back soon" I know I shouldn't but I bend and kiss her baby bump over her sweater.
"Call me if you need me okay, we don't even have to speak. I can't believe you're actually going... does Coop know? What he did to you?" Beth asks and a tear slides down her cheek.
"No one knows, you don't know, that's the way it's going to stay. I don't care about justice or what's right, I care about my family. Coop wants to meet his father and although I know he's not worth the effort Coop is. I guess I can understand the need to meet the person who ruined your life. I'm counting on the fact he won't confess to what he did during a supervised visit" I shrug and wipe her cheek.
"It's been a few days now, how are you feeling?" Beth asks changing the subject to a only slightly less shameful topic.
"Less angry, less emotional. Less me, maybe one day soon I won't even be an asshole" I smirk.
"Well we can only hope right?" She nods sad and hugs me again.
"See you soon honey" I kiss her hair and pull from her arms, already I want to stay.
"Here, share with your brother" Beth straightens and tells me all motherly.
"Yes Mama" I tease and smile at her pretty face.
"Okay I'm going, just.... I love you Cole" Beth tells me and both eyes now have tears, she spins on her heels and marches back to her house.
She needs to stop worrying over me, she's going to send herself into premature labour.
I put the bags in the car and sit in the drivers seat to wait, I know Coop will be useless for the first few hours without his wife and if he's behind the wheel he may just turn us back.