Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter twenty

I dress the salad and pack up the brownies into a container, I check to see if the creme brûlée has set and I fuss over the devilled eggs. Beth will kill me if everything isn't perfect for her official baby shower.
Her family will be there and so will Jace's, her girlfriends will be there and so will Rose. I have managed not to see her since the wedding and I'm hoping she's over her infatuation with me, it seemed like she was when she and her friend were both making out with Oliver after the reception. I'm in no state for even a distraction right now.
Speaking of distractions, my ultimate distraction walks into the kitchen holding her dress against her chest.
"Fuck it smells good in here, zip me up please Bug?" She groans looking at all the food.
"Where's Coop? I'm busy" I grumble.
"Helping Jace hang the fairy lights, please it will only take a second. Here I'll stir the chocolate" she takes the spoon from my hand stirring the melted chocolate for the top of the cake I've baked.
Her back is bare, no bra and I can see the top of her white lace thong. She shivers as my fingers brush her hair over her shoulder to avoid it getting caught in the zip. My fingers shake as I touch her skin and I drop my lips to her ear.
"Don't think I don't know you do this on purpose, you really think I'll let you lick it if you help?" I whisper as I slide the zip all the way up to her neck.
"Just the spoon, please. Dark chocolate is my favourite" she smiles back at me.
"I'm not helping you get this dress off again if you make a mess on it, you can just go with chocolate stains down the front of your beautiful white dress" I shrug and let her go.
"You think it's beautiful?" She smiles up at me.
"You know you always look beautiful" I grumble and turn away from her.

Isabel likes to think that because I haven't tried to kill her for a few weeks that we're friends again. We can't be friends, friends trust each other, they don't lie to each other and they don't break your heart.
"Rose will be there this afternoon, she asked me if you were going" Iz says casually.
"I'm going for Beth, I'm turning up with the food, I'll smile and pretend I'm having a great time then as soon as she's busy with her guests I'm coming home. I won't be hanging around for stories of other people's births and pin the diaper on the baby" I shudder.
"Can you come and get me before you go? Last thing I want to do is answer a million questions on why Cooper and I are not expecting yet, like I need to explain myself to a bunch of strangers with judging eyes"
"No, last thing I want to do is be stuck in the house alone with you answering a million questions on why we're not friends anymore. Like I need to explain myself to you with your judging eyes"
"Ouch Bug, you know every time you say that it really hurts me right? I'll always be your friend Cole. I'll never stop loving you, you know I would never judge you" Iz turns and hugs me regardless of how I feel about it.
"Uh huh" I say not really answering her.
"Rose is bringing a date, so you're off the hook. Even Leah has a boyfriend right now, Oliver is bringing his new guy too. Actually I don't think anyone is single right now, I don't think that's ever happened before" she babbles on stirring the chocolate while I clean the strawberries and try to drown out the sound of her voice.
"You can say that because I don't actually count as a person right?" I snort sarcastically.
"No, I didn't mean...I wasn't counting you" Izzy tries to back track and I place my finger over her lips to shush her.
"I don't care Isabel" I tell her.
"I'm sorry Bug" she really does look sorry but I've fallen for her tricks before.
"I'm going to send you a few pics later, tattoo options. I thought maybe you'd like to help me decide on my next ink" I say with a cruel smile.
"Yes of course I do" she says brightly and my stomach tightens.
"Cool, they should all work as a cover up" I say with my back to her.
"You want to cover up the butterfly?" She asks hesitant and with a shaking voice, I know how much this means to her.
"No" I say anyway.
I've done it, I finally pushed her hard enough. She walks away from me without a word. It's better this way I tell myself and ignore the need to run after her.

I move everything from our kitchen to Beth's and Coop gives me a sad shake of his head as I pass him in Beth's backyard, he's at the top of a ladder hanging fairy lights over the pool. I give him a small shrug and keep walking, I know all I do is disappoint him.
"Oh thank you Cole, you are a lifesaver" Beth sighs in relief when she sees me.
"I've got more, won't be long" I smile and drop my load onto the counter.
I make the same trip twice more and ignore Coop altogether.
"Everything looks perfect, what would I do without you?" Beth smiles and I can see she's already exhausted.
"Why don't you go downstairs, rest for a few minutes before your guests arrive?" I rub her shoulders to relax her.
"I do need to change, will you watch the oven for me? Those cookies have ten minutes left" Beth sags against me.
"Of course. Go on go" I give her a gentle push.