Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter eleven

I hold my brother, scared for his life. I wasn't this scared when I wanted to end mine and I can feel he's at the end of his rope, I'm not sure if this is appropriate and I don't care. My brother needs me and I'm not going anywhere.
It's fine for sisters to sleep in the same bed right? I've seen it on movies and hear girls giggling at the bar saying their girlfriends can crash with them, if girls can share a bed and it's not weird so can we. The pills are working and his eyes are heavy, I smooth back his hair from his brow over and over. I want him to know I'm here for him, I won't let him go.
His eyes close and his breath changes, he's asleep but I don't move. I can't. He almost jumped tonight. If I had of been taking a piss or getting a drink he'd be gone right now, right in front of me.
My phone vibrates and I reach to the side table to retrieve it, Isabel.

"Hey baby" I whisper.
"Hey Chuck, is this a bad time? I can't feel you but something in my gut said you needed me right now" Iz asks worried and it's so good to hear her voice.
"I do" I croak closing my eyes to the sound of her familiar husky voice.
"I hate this, I fucking hate this" Iz sighs.
"I know baby, I'm sorry" I wish I could make it better.
"I should be there with you" she sighs frustrated. "How is Cole? Things seem quiet" Iz asks tired.
"He hasn't spoken a word since I called you last, I gave him a sleeping pill. Hopefully he'll be out for the rest of night"
"You're worried, more than usual. I don't need a psychic connection to know that"
"I'm looking after him baby girl. I'll get him home to you" I assure her and take a deep breath to calm myself.
"Don't let him out of your sight Coop, he needs to get out of that town"
"Sweetheart I'm not letting him out of my grip, I've never seen him like this. This town is bad for him, he's someone completely different here. He is beyond frightened, did you know he has a stutter? That motherfucker scares him so much he literally can't speak. He is willingly holding me right now, I'm staying in his bed tonight or I won't get any sleep" I confess.
"Good that's good, he needs you. No I didn't know that, he's really that bad? That awful?" Iz breathes.
"Worse baby, Cole was right not to bring you here. I'm certain Cole has spared us the worst of his abuse. I wanted to hurt him so bad, I wanted to shut his mouth. The hate that comes from him.... the things he said about my mother, about Cole. Isabel he makes me sick to my stomach" I tell her with tears in my eyes.
"You're coming home tomorrow right? Three days and you'll be here?" Izzy asks upset.
"Depending on how Cole is after we leave here I'm thinking of driving through the second night. Only if he's up for it, we'll take turns driving. If not I will drive the whole way and I'll be home when I can sweetheart"
"Don't rush for me, I miss you so much lover but it's nothing compared to you not coming home at all"
"You still think to order me about woman? Have I been gone so long you are in need of a spanking?" I tease her but my voice sounds so sad.
"Yeah lover, I think so" she giggles then sighs. "I know it's not the right time for this, but I wanted you to know. I stopped taking the pill yesterday, just to see what happens"
"Okay baby, I promise I'm excited to see where this goes for us. I just don't have the energy to show it" a tear slips down my face with mixed emotion.
"I understand, it's okay. I wanted to tell you last night but we didn't get round to much talking did we?" I can tell my beautiful wife is trying to cheer me up.
"Isabel. My little brother has his knee between mine and his arms around my ribcage, please don't get me hard" I laugh softly.
"I love you Cooper Bentley. We have been through so much together, us Bentleys are tough. He was an asshole, we knew this already so we just need to move on. Find something to make the road trip worthwhile. I have that photo of my Cowboys and those boots of yours definitely make missing you worth it. Do something, go see something that makes this trip worth it for the two of you" Iz tells me and I nod. "Good boy" she giggles softly into the silence and I smile.
She knows me so well.
"I love you Isabel Bentley. I'm sure that nude you sent made the whole trip worthwhile for both of us. It definitely reminded Cole what's a woman's body is for" I chuckle just a little.
"Coop!" Iz admonishes me with a gasp. "What does that mean?" She asks curiously and I groan at putting my foot in my mouth.
"My baby brother hooked up, fucked our waitress that night in the men's bathroom. It's the first time I've seen him with a woman, well apart from you. He's a quick worker, may have more game than Jace" I say carefully knowing that she gets jealous when he's around other women, and no that doesn't hurt me at all.
Just like a knife to the heart.
"He did?" She asks surprised "like all the way or just messed around?" She giggles, okay not jealous.
"Baby girl I didn't exactly go and watch. He flirted, she flirted. He disappears, after a while I go to see if he's okay and I find them both in the men's. She's flushed and dressing him and she takes off the second I walk in. He's got a cocky smile on his face laughing at me for being shocked" I tell her feeling relieved she's not upset by this.
"So he liked her?"
"Enough to have sex yeah, I asked if he wanted a room to himself and he declined so not enough to spend the night with her" I say reminding myself to keep my voice low not to wake Cole up.
"I don't get that, is it a guy thing? What my body does with you, I could never do with a stranger, someone I didn't love and know inside and out" Iz sighs.
"Sex with a stranger is different baby, it's not like what we do. It's just physical, you just have to shut your brain off. Like a massage or something, you don't have to love them to feel good" I explain then realise my foot has just gone straight back in my mouth.
"Well I guess I'll never get it, when we had sex the first time I never wanted to leave your side. Staying in your bed was a physical need. I hope I never learn the difference, it's sounds so sad and empty, meaningless"
"I hope so too baby" I growl at her. "Our first time beautiful girl, that wasn't just sex, that was an awakening. That was two souls coming to life" I tremble remembering how it felt taking her innocence.
"Then the second time was definitely two souls combining into one, the intensity of that night changed me forever. I knew I would never be the same without you" Iz whispers and I wish so hard I could touch her right now.
"I still dream about the second time, the look on your face, the sounds you made, the tears in your eyes baby girl... every move you made set my heart on fire, I was burning for you" I smile and I swear to the gods I can smell the way she smelled that night.
Ginger body wash and lemongrass shampoo, vodka and limes.
"You called me baby and I knew I would never be just your best friend again, I knew in that second I wanted to make love to you for the rest of my life"
"Prepare yourself Isabel, you have no idea of how much I need you" I warn very close to tears yet again.
"Close your eyes Chuck, remember our wedding night. See us in that tub, picture me wrapped around your body. I remember the way you looked at me, can you see it?" Iz whispers soft and slow calming me.
"I couldn't believe you were finally mine" I swallow and picture her naked body and glowing face, her smile was utterly captivating.
"Remember how intense our love was that night? Everything just felt magnified and so strong, picture my face, remember how it felt inside when we kissed and laughed together.... it felt like it was impossible to keep all that love inside me without bursting apart at the seams, your love Cooper. I couldn't imagine you loved me that much... without that feeling inside me I feel so empty, I feel gutted but I think back to that night and I see the look in your eyes. I feel your arms around me and taste your lips on mine. I remember sleeping on your chest and the sound of your heartbeat under my ear, it helps me get through the night. Close your eyes Coop and remember how it felt to fall asleep surrounded by my love" her quiet voice lulls me and I sigh relaxing for the first time in days.
"I couldn't sleep, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I watched your beautiful face till the sun came up, I love you Isabel" I mumble sleepy.
"Sleep now lover, I've got you. I won't hang up, I'll stay with you and I love you more" Izzy whispers as I drift towards sleep.
"You need your sleep too" I mumble.
"I'm at work for hours yet sexy, I'm going to keep you on speakerphone and I'll call you back if I hear Cole get up. Shh now and dream of me" Izzy cajoles.
"Kay" I sigh helpless to refuse her.
"Good boy" she smiles and for a second I think I can feel her and I rest the phone and my hand over my heart.