At only 7 years old, Yuki was abandoned by her village at a young age after an act of self defense to save her life was misconstrued for cold blooded murder. Small, alone and defenseless, she would have surely died out in the world alone, but the Ak...
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At first, everything was black and my senses felt like they were consumed under a cloud of fog. After a few more minutes I could feel with more clarity the hairs on my arms sticking up from the cool air wafting through the room. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking slowly to clear the glaze from my vision. My head lolled to the side and my vision was filled with gray. I blinked my eyes again and opened them wider to finally make out a mop of silver hair splayed across the covers, but I wasn't looking at the back of a head as it laid next to me. Still hazy, I wanted to reach out and curl my arm around Kakashi's side and curl into his back, but he was sleeping slouched over the bed as he sat in a chair beside it.
Not yet taking in the room, my eyes only on Kakashi curious as to why he was sleeping like that, I reached out running my fingers through his hair. I raked my nails lightly across his scalp as my fingers passed through his hair. I felt him shiver lightly under my fingers from their soothing treatment and then he stirred from the sensation. Coming back to his senses, Kakashi's head snapped up from the bed as soon as he realized I was awake.
I couldn't help but giggle lightly at his expression. One slightly bewildered eye with silver hair matted to his forward and the wrinkles of the bed sheet creased into his cheek. Kakashi's bewildered eye softened, looking at me slightly confused at the sound of my giggle. "What are you doing sleeping like that?" I asked. I ran my hand from the back of his hair and cupped his cheek for a second before scooting over and patting the space next to me, "Get in here before you hurt your neck."
Kakashi continued to watch me with those confused eyes for a moment with a slight tilt to his head as he tried to figure out my behavior. I patted the empty spot one more time and without having to be told, Kakashi slipped off his shoes and climbed into the space next to me. I didn't waste time and indulged in what I had wanted to do before when I first caught sight of him. As soon as he was laid down on his side, I wrapped my arm around his waist. I slipped my hand up the back of his shirt, just laying it in the small of his back and enjoying the warmth of his skin while I buried my head into his chest.
I could feel Kakashi's muscles tense under my touch, but after a moment he finally allowed his body to relax and wrapped his arm around my back and cupped the back of my head and rested his chin against the top of it. "Fig?" Kakashi's voice was soft as he whispered the nickname that could instantly grab my attention. And suddenly that name was all I needed to notice the concern in his voice.
I tiled my head back in his hand to look up at him and my brows stitched in confusion when I noticed he'd pushed up his headband to reveal both eyes...which is when I also noticed the fact that he was wearing his mask...why is he wearing his mask at home? I wondered, then looked over my shoulder and quickly realized we were far from home. "We're at the hospital...wait, I'm in the hospital..." I started rambling, putting together the positions I had woke to each of us in. "My hair!" I exclaimed, looking at it after noticing something different about it from my peripheral. The white that seemed to bleach the normal violet from the tips. "It's as white as the light..." I whispered, everything slowly coming back to me as I stared at it.
"Oh god, Kakashi-" My words caught in my throat as I dropped my hair and stared back up at him, hoping the tears that threatened to spill could be held at bay by sudden assurances that the thought swirling through my brain was silly and incorrect. But Kakashi was only able to return my watery gaze with his own glazed over eyes as he watched everything click into place by the expression on my face. I shut my mouth and pursed my lips, not daring to speak the words and make it true. But my bottom lip quivered anyhow as I thought about it, knowing that whether or not I spoke it aloud, what's done is done and it could never be taken back. Kakashi leaned down and kissed me through his mask, not in a moment of passion or lust, but just trying to steady my trembling lip with his own.
At first it continued to tremble, but when I felt his own quiver against mine I suddenly managed to find some form of calm. One that needed to seize the change in Kakashi's demeanor and be the one helping comfort him as a form of distraction. I pulled back from his lips and shifted on the bed to lay back, pulling Kakashi with me as I moved. I cradled his head in my chest with one arm and wrapped the other one across his broad shoulders holding him tight to me. I was torn up inside and sad, knowing that the battle with Orochimaru had to have done too much damage to my body for the baby to have survived, but in that moment I knew my pain still couldn't have compared to Kakashi's. He hadn't just lost the baby...he felt useless, unable to step in and protect us...he felt fear, not knowing until I woke if he had lost us both...and now as I held him to me, I could feel it all in the desperate grip of his arms that didn't dare relinquish me.
We could have stayed in that position for hours, not needing to say anything to comfort or communicate what we were feeling. But eventually a nurse came to check in on me and dejectedly, we had to separate and I suddenly felt so cold without Kakashi's warmth surrounding me.
They kept me in the hospital for another day so they could observe me while I was awake and make sure there weren't any injuries that they hadn't noticed while I was asleep.
Naruto came to visit with another round of take out ramen to help me feel better. I couldn't stop Kakashi from telling all the Jonin that I was pregnant, but I had asked him to at least wait to tell his students once the doctor had given the 'all clear'. I didn't have a lot of experience with kids at the Akatsuki and I didn't want to chance any awkward questions afterwards if I did lose the baby. So Naruto couldn't have guessed this was a situation that a hot bowl of chicken ramen couldn't fix...but his gesture still helped give me a small smile and a distraction from the sadness for just a moment as he told us about the great adventure he was to set out on with Jiraiya. Once the ramen was gone, he gave me a hug and made a quick get away to catch up with the 'pervy sage' to find the next Hokage.
Kakashi never left the room, in it for the 'long haul' until they let me out. Which thankfully meant he was there when Gai made an appearance to visit. Kakashi had to kick him out not too long after he had arrived because, Gai being Gai, turned into a crying mess as soon as he saw me which nearly turned me into a crying mess.
Then the time finally came to be released. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall when I got off the bed and stopped on my way to the door.
"Is everything alright?" Kakashi asked, instantly concerned thinking maybe I was eying my stomach when I kept watching myself in the mirror. But that wasn't what bothered me.
"Almost...do you have a kunai by chance?" I asked, briefly glancing at him-catching his perplexed look at the question-then back at the mirror.
"Yes" The word came out in a slow drawl as he pulled one out and placed it in my hand, wondering what I would want it for.
I didn't want to leave the hospital with a reminder of that day's events hanging around my shoulders, so I gathered up my hair. I pulled the end taut to make it an easy cut and slid the blade across right where the white tips ran into my raven hair. The freshly cut hair feathered against the back of my neck as the blade went through the layers. I dumped the white ends that used to reach my shoulder blades into the trash next to me and ran my fingers through the now jet black that stopped just at the top of my shoulders.
"Thank you." I told Kakashi as I turned to him, placing the kunai back in the palm of his hand and a kiss on his exposed cheek. At a loss for words, he just watched me a little wide eyed for a moment as I made my way out the door before snapping back into focus and following after.
