Sajmra Talks Part 3 #wattys2018

Reflection

Salaam everyone

I had a reflection recently that I wanted to share.

So I have to have surgery soon on my eyes. It'll be in a couple of months, and I recently went to see the surgeon so we could talk about the surgery.

First he went through the basic stuff of what the surgery would entail, what recovery would be and such. Then he said,

'I can put a lens in your eyes that will give you back all of the vision that you have lost, but the insurance doesn't cover it and it'll be thousands of dollars.'

I was stunned. I sat there just staring at him, my heart beating fast. It wasn't about the money right now, all I could think about was that I would be getting my vision back!! Alhamdulillah!

So he said to go home, and let him know what I wanted to do. I talked with my parents, I talked with my brother, I talked with my best friend, and I prayed about it. Before I made my final decision however, I called my regular doctor, and I told him what the surgeon had said.

He was quiet after I explained the situation, not answering, and my heart sunk. Finally he said,

'That lens won't work for you. That's for people who lost their vision in a natural way, not had trauma. In fact, it'll make your vision worse. I don't think the surgeon looked at your history at all.'

I was devastated.

I was hurt.

I was confused.

And I was in tears.

I felt like this surgeon had given me hope, and then just completely dashed it and stomped all over it just because he didn't take the time to look at my chart.

I didn't understand it.

For a few days I was in a cloud of hurt and angry thoughts, constantly on the verge of tears. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

But then I remembered something.

I remembered a few years ago when I had twenty two percent vision for both eyes combined.

I remembered when they told me that my eyes were literally dying, and I had to walk with a cane so I wouldn't fall.

I remembered when I looked in the mirror, and I couldn't even recognize my own face.

I remembered when they told me I would never see again.

And I remembered when Allah swt in His infinite mercy and wisdom gave me enough vision that I could get corrective lenses.

I remembered putting on those glasses, and bursting into tears when I could see my dad's face clearly for the first time in years.

I remembered the doctors being shocked, saying it was nothing short of a miracle that I got some vision back, that they had never seen this happen, and didn't think it was medically possible.

I remembered when things were worse.

And I said Alhamdulillah.

The fact of the matter is that things can always be worse. And while we shouldn't dwell on that, expecting and anticipating and planning for the worst, we need to always keep that in mind to count the blessings that we have right now.

'Yes, things may be hard for me right now, but it can be worse, and I know because I was there, and I got through it. And when things were bad, I didn't think it could be as good as it is now. So Alhamdulillah. And In Shaa Allah when it gets even better, I'll know just what I accomplished and conquered..'

Just hold on to faith and hope.