A Haze

Chapter 12. Secrets

Nicole's POV

I think I've been just about driving myself insane trying to figure out what the hell is going on with Andy Haze, my mind has already created thirty different stories and I'm sure not a single one of them is accurate.

When I told him that Gracie, his daughter wasn't a problem I mean what I'd said but now I have to wonder where her mom is and why he doesn't date. I grab my car keys from the hook and just as I'm about to head to the garage my dad walks in.

"Hey going somewhere I brought take out?" Dad asks. "I have to go back to the office tonight though but I thought we could have supper together." 

Naturally I'm far more interested in Andy then my dad but I also don't want to tip my dad off and make him suspicious of me having a boyfriend again he gave me hell about the first one I'd had, though the first one didn't work out which of course he was happy about.

"Hey dad I was just going to go out and get something to eat so I'm glad you're here." I lie, to my surprise he believes it.

We head into the dining room and sit down. "So how's Billy's grandma?" Dad asks.

"I haven't even called him actually." I admit feeling a little bad about it.

"Why not?" Dad asks me. "Meet new people?" He asks.

"Yeah I have but I figured he had a lot going on I should give him some space." I whisper as I pick at my food.

Dad and I eat in silence it doesn't seem to tip him off, he says he won't be back until tomorrow night most likely.

I wait for a half hour after he leaves before I decide to head out just to make sure that he doesn't come back, I grab my keys and head out to the garage.

It's 11 PM now, and if he's asleep oh well he's getting woken up, I'm determined to find out tonight it can't wait anymore.

I get up into my black 1985 Chevy truck and start it, it is a bit louder and kind of big but I don't want to take the firebird.

I pull out of the garage down the driveway and head toward's the highway to take me out of Chicago and out to Andy's place.

**********

When I pull into Andy's driveway the house is dark except for maybe one light in the living room and one upstairs as far as I can tell.

I shut my truck off, I put the keys in my pocket and head for the front door. Just as I'm about to knock the front door swings open, he looks at me in confusion and he looks tired. He's in nothing but a pair of sweat pants.

"What are you doing here?" He asks confused. "Something wrong?" Now he's looking at me worriedly.

"No, just I want to know." I whisper giving him a meaningful look, he sighs looking a way then back to me. He throws the door open motioning for me to come inside I walk past him and he shuts the door quietly.

"Why so late?" He asks.

"I was going to come sooner but my dad decided to show his face at home today for like an hour." I snort. "I've probably created thirty different stories in my head about what is going on with you." I admit in irritation.

"And probably not a single one is close to accurate." He says arching an eyebrow. "Let me take Gracie to bed first." He whispers.

He heads into the living room he comes back out with Gracie who is fast asleep her arms hanging down by her sides and her head resting on his shoulder. "I'll be back down in a minute." He whispers.

I nod in understanding and head into the living room, I stand by the window in the living room and stare out over the front yard. I understand now he probably saw my headlights  through the window when I came up his driveway.

"What's so interesting?" He whispers from behind me.

"It's sort of beautiful out here." I whisper.

"Better then where I was." He says quietly. 

I turn to face him, he's looking at me curiously.

"How about you start because I can probably guarantee my shit is far more complicated. You said your mom is dead, never said how. You said I had no idea the shit you been through so why don't you enlighten me. You already know much more about me then I do about you." He says crossing his arms over his chest.

I raise my eyebrows and let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "What do you want to know?" I ask.

"How'd your mom die?" He asks.

"My mom, older brother Carl and my unborn sibling all died in a car accident. I was in the vehicle too but I somehow survived it probably because I was in the backseat." I explain. "A drunk hit us head on, I was about four it happened here in Chicago. I'm originally from Chicago, I was born here on April 24th 1974." 

"After my brother and mom died my dad couldn't stand to be in the area anymore I guess, so he moved us to Minneapolis Minnesota. I barely remember my mom or brother, but I remember the accident pretty clear. From the time I was four until I was twelve I had a nanny living with me my dad was almost never home I'm not talking like a day here and there. He may have been home for a day every couple to few months. I remember there was a time that I didn't see him for six months. I'd talk to him about once every two weeks on the phone though." I roll my eyes at that part.

He stares at me with a sad, disbelieving expression. 

"When I realized how many siblings you had I thought how lucky you must be my house was always empty lonely, but to think you have to play a father role to your own siblings is sort of sad at the same time." I say softly shaking my head. "I'm bitching about having to care for myself when you have to care for eight other people." I snort.

"No that's...awful." He says looking away shaking his head. 

"Anyways I think I was about fourteen I went to a party, this boy he must have been sixteen asked me to dance. I was young, naive, and I had a couple drinks. He offered to drive me home I excepted it but I didn't expect him to pull off onto a dirt road..." I trail off. "He raped me." I whisper.

"I never told anyone that." I admit, when I look up at him he looks beyond angry. "Not even Billy, I always kept so much to myself my dad not being around for so long it just become normal to not have anyone to tell my problems or happiness to. I just never had anybody." I whisper and shrug.

"When I was sixteen I started dating a guy in Minneapolis for almost a year I had sex with him getting past the fears of being raped, only to get cheated on by him and find out on my 17th birthday so." I clap my hands together. "Your turn."