A Haze

Chapter 22. Chapin

Andy's POV

"Look Andy she gave me a run down of what happened something about a gang?" Billy asks. I growl in irritation and look away, she wasn't supposed to tell him that.

"Okay it's not my business whatever I won't say anything I promise." Billy says raising his hands as if in surrender, I just clench my jaw and nod.

"Nikki kind of flipped her switch, actually she get's a little mad when you call her that when she switches she prefers Nicole." Billy says.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"She sort of has this personality disorder, from being traumatized as a child." Billy says.

"She has a split personality?" I ask in disbelief.

"Sort of, except she knows she has it and normally she can control it. She goes by the same name, just this personality is emotionless, not angry, hurt, sad, happy she's basically robotic. She used to have to take meds to control it but she quit taking them because the doctors said that she didn't need it anymore." Billy explains.

"She first switched at her mom and brother's funeral." Billy says. "Then again for some reason not sure why she refused to tell me."

"Being raped?" I ask.

"What?" Billy asks confused.

"She said she never told anybody." I tell him.

"No I didn't know that, when?" He asks confused.

"When she was fifteen I think." I say.

"Anyways this is maybe the third time or fourth that she switched, and when I got here she did it right in front of me she was hurt she was laying on the floor mumbling a string of strange things then she clearly said 'he dumped me.'"

"Why'd she switch?" I ask confused.

"I'm guessing because you broke it off with her?" Billy asks.

I sigh in frustration running my hands through my hair. "So how do we get her to turn it on?"

"She'll turn it on when she's ready to, you can't do much unless we can convince her to go see a therapist." Billy explains.

"I broke it off with her because she isn't safe with me." I say defensively.

Billy sighs. "Look you don't want her hurt, but you sorta did hurt her. Whatever she felt for you must have been strong as hell because she didn't switch when Max cheated on her. You can try getting to her push at her to make her feel something ANYTHING and she might switch back."

"I shouldn't of even come here she is far better off without me." I mutter.

"Maybe you're wrong, maybe two broken pieces make a whole one?" Billy questions.

I look into his eyes and see the sincerity in them, maybe he's right. I'm not even sure why I cam here I shouldn't be here but I needed to check on her I knew I hurt her and I hate myself for it.

"I think she slept on the floor last night." Billy says pursing his lips.

I nod and walk past him into the house I head up the stairs looking for Nikki, I throw her bedroom door open and she's cleaning her messy room she looks at me and arches an eyebrow her expression totally blank.

Damn...

What the fuck did I do to her?

*************

"Nikki?" Andy asks.

I roll my eyes. "Don't call me that, my name is Nicole." I tell him.

I straighten up and continue throwing dirty laundry into a basket.

He grabs me and spins me to face him. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I was scared. Switch back baby please." He pleads.

I shove him away from me, grab my laundry and walk past him toward's the laundry room.

"Damn it Nicole listen to me!" Andy yells as I throw my clothes in the washer.

"Or you could save your breath and leave." I laugh humorlessly. "It's not going to work Andy." I spin around and face him. "I don't want to switch back, it's still me I remember it all remember what I felt and I'm choosing not to feel it anymore. Maybe you just need to go get your dick wet by some other girl." I suggest walking past him and down the stairs.

"Not caring about anything is noway to live!" He yells at me.

"You'd know, you've done it. Chose not to feel anything for anybody remember? How's that any different from me?" I ask.

"Because you have a personality disorder Nikki this isn't you, I was still me!" Andy yells angrily.

I shrug. "You know maybe since I'm 'split' I should go by a different name. How about Cassie? I sort of like that." I say.

He narrows his eyes at me. "I like Nicole."

"Chapin is pretty too I like that." I suggest rubbing my fingers across my chin thoughtfully. "Yes Chapin it is. Don't call me Nicole anymore you want me to answer to you call me Chapin." I tell him grabbing my keys and heading for the garage.

"Where are you going?" He asks following me.

"You sound like a lost puppy." I say. "I need to go buy groceries. Billy are you coming or what?" I ask.

"Sure." He mutters. He gives Andy a thoughtful look and then follows after me Andy let's himself out he kicks his bike to life and pulls away.

"You're making a mistake Nicole." Billy says.

"Chapin." I correct dropping my shades over my eyes. "I like that better has a ring to it don't you think?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

I back the firebird out of the garage and down the driveway.

"Fine Chapin you need to let Nicole back out." Billy says sternly.

"Hmm, well she doesn't want back out she's happy right where she's at." I tell him. "You know in my opinion, I really shouldn't have to let her back out she only let's me out when she wants me to clean her mess."

Billy stares at me in surprise but I could care less, I shrug turn my stereo up and speed down the highway toward's the grocery store.

Who cares about Nicole, she's weak and senseless, boring even at times I am so much more fun. She was holding on only by a thread when she was taken, and Andy finally cut that thread when he pushed her away.

Which is stupid because I can admit what she can't I know what she felt, she loved Andy Haze and she couldn't stand losing him so here I am cleaning up her mess per usual.

WOW I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YA'LL BUT THIS BOOK JUST GOT GOOOOD! HAHA! OKAY SO WHAT YOU THINK OF CHAPIN?!?! DID YA SEE THAT COMING? VOTE/COMMENT!