Omnia Vincit Amor

VIII.

"Fluctuat nec mergitur." -Unknown

It is tossed by the waves but it does not sink.

It was amazing how a little exercise had helped Edward maximize his playing. It was quite helpful and it takes the tension of his playing. Since there are no tensions, his playing sounds smoother and more fluid.

The thoughts about the older man had not stopped haunting Edward. Every time he avoids thinking of him, it always goes deeper into what life with him would be like. Edward knew that it was absolutely wrong but he just cannot stop. It seems like the older man was now engraved in his mind and no matter how hard he tries to remove the remnants of these types of thoughts, it accidentally turns into memorabilia.

Brett Yang had avoided those types of thoughts by diverting himself with music. He started to practice Bach's Adagio for Solo Violin in G Minor. It was a pretty challenging piece but Brett wanted to get a certain Edward Chen out of his mind.

"Eddy..." Brett whispered quietly, voice as soft as the morning breeze.

He really did not want to think about how his name feels perfect and oddly bittersweet on his lips. He did not want to think about the warmth of the man's skin in contrast to his cold hands. He did not want to know more about his life, what type of tea he prefers and what kind of life he leads. He did not want to know any of these, his mind did not need these useless informations.

His mind did not need them but his heart longs for the answers. No matter how much Brett hated to admit it, the mind could fool him into not thinking about the man. His heart, his heart cannot simply just ignore what he had felt for the younger man.

Still, both if them do not speak of their experiences in the fear of the abandonment of the other. It is funny, is it not? How these two men who barely knew each other are afraid of what the other might say about them? Surely though, there is a reason deeper than how homosexuality was illegal.

A part of Edward knew that the man could make him as well as he could break him. He is afraid of being broken and torn down. He did not need that kind of pain anymore. He cannot lose this opportunity to be a better violinist.

Brett knew that this is not love but merely curiosity. He just wanted to unravel the misery that is Edward Chen. Maybe if he had decoded him then this longing that he tries so hard to suppress will be gone. Maybe by the time he knew the good and bad side of him he would stop. If he knew the beauty and the ugly then maybe it would be the end.

He would know that it was not was love if he knew everything about the younger man.

Maybe they were just confusing the feelings of connection with love. They might be soulmates but the relationship is brotherly. Maybe they were just mistaking the familiarity of their skin ship as love. Maybe everything that they have over thought was just confused for love because they both had never felt something that string before.

It was probably the universe's way of telling them that they will simply see each other succeed. Well, let's take that a bit further. Maybe it was the universe's way of telling the two men that they will build each other to their own successes. Whatever it was, they both should not avoid what the world was trying to tell them.

So, they continue to work together.

They started to see each other more often and those sessions are very productive. Edward was getting better and better and Brett was trying to get better and better, too. Improvements are constantly being made and no one could ever master the violin.

It is one of the first things that Brett Yang had taught everyone that he was teaching. It is a skill not to master but a skill to improve and nurture. It was the reason why he was claimed to be a prodigy. He told them that he was not a prodigy but rather a violin player who started from a very young age.

He never told them his exact secret, though. Motivation and discipline sometimes are not enough and the best thing to do is remind yourself that you love this. Brett does not believe in the saying that his mother had taught him anymore, but it is true that loving something makes it worth staying for.

It is the reason why he kept on going even though his mother was long gone. Love makes something worth staying for. It is so, so, so easy to fall in love but staying in love is the hardest part. Brett managed to stay in love with playing. It was so easy because he played as if it was meant for him to do so. That was enough to keep them going.

Of course, everyone has their own reasons for staying and keeping on going but it all always equates to love and loving. Maybe the fact that love conquers all things might still be true to a certain extent but he would not allow himself to just succumb to that.

The Bach Adagio does not need love but conviction. It needs conviction for its true strength and form could only be brought out like that. It is much more restricted when it comes to emotions and more tough on technicalities. It is the reason why Brett used it as a diversion from his thoughts.

It needs so much focus and techniques. It helped him forget about how he felt for a while. Maybe it was not a healthy coping mechanism but falling in love with a man is not healthy, either. Whatever the reason on why he is stuck here better be a reasonable one.

Brett Yang does not want to love a man. Edward Chen does not mind if he was to love a man. Edward had learned to accept it a long time ago because love is natural. If it was so immoral in other people's eyes then why does it happen?

It is a course of nature that we cannot change. He does not understand why it was so illegal to just love. If they are not hurting anyone then why is it deemed too offensive? If a man and a woman could fall in love, then why could not a man and man do so, too? Why could not a woman and a woman do so, too?

It puzzled Edward but he does not question the system. He was not being mentored by Brett Yang to love anyway. He just met him to become a better violinist and maybe even a long lasting friend. Brett Yang would just be a figure in his life that had helped him achieve his hopes and dreams. He was not to love Brett Yang and if ever he did, it should not matter.

It is a hard concept to grasp and wrap your mind around on but in time people will revolutionize love. Edward just wishes to see people celebrate love that has no limitations. He knew that he cannot and will not see it in his own time. Edward will just have to wish that he could live another lifetime to see this.

There they were, the two men were only certain of one thing. Whatever the universe is planning out for them will bring great fortune to their individual lives. They are sure to make history and leave a huge imprint on history books.

Brett Yang was a man of the arts and he lives and breathes art. It comes to him naturally and so he needs to have an outlet for all these sentiments that he absorbs as an artist. He was glad that he was taught that writing or composing would be a great outlet for these feelings. So, he does what he does best and write and write and write. These are all the things that they will never know.

Behind that facade of void emotions and that monotonous voice, there is a heart deep inside of him that feels deeply.

Edward Chen only had music as an outlet his entire life. It was the one thing that made him forget and release all the feelings that had flooded his system. It was strange and yet it was the only way to make him grounded back to reality. It was haunting at the same time, too.

Knowing that he has the control of his music depending on what he was feeling. Either way, Edward was just glad that it was a healthy coping mechanism. God knows that he did not need vices to overtake his senses and his entire breathing, waking hours.