XLV.

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"Malum consilium quod mutari non potest." -Publilius Syrus

It’s a bad plan that can’t be changed.

"What do you plan on doing now, Pyotr?" Edward asked as he accompanied Pyotr on the way to his publisher.

"They told me that I have to kill myself with arsenic that they will provide. They will mask it up as a death caused by cholera since it is a pandemic as of the moment." Pyotr whispered.

"Well, that is quite harsh, in my opinion." Eddy whispered back.

"The government had always been quite harsh on people like us." Pyotr replied quietly.

"Sadly, that is the truth..." Eddy replied.

When they had gotten the score published, the men immediately went home. Brett was not present because he had a performance in a different city. He will be back later this day to be home with the two men.

It was a leisurely afternoon in the Tchaikovsky household, Edward and Pyotr just enjoying each other's music and company. Eddy was playing the melody of Tchaikovsky's violin concerto and Pyotr was just accompanying him. They both knew the music by heart. Suddenly, Pyotr stopped playing and as a result, Eddy did too. Pyotr spoke to Eddy.

"Eddy, come sit next to me here. I have something to ask you..." Pyotr requested as he tapped on the space next to him on the piano stool.

Eddy obliged, smiling at Pyotr. After months of living with each other, both had come to admire each other much more than they had expected.

"What is it, Ilyich?" Eddy asked as he sat next to Pyotr.

Pyotr leaned into his ear and whispered.

"How does it feel to be loved by him, through and through?"

Edward was silent for a moment. He just stared at Pyotr with an unsure look on his face. He was confused as to why Pyotr was asking, but he will answer the question. He was hesitant to speak up and Pyotr had felt it.

"It is fine, Eddy. You can tell me. I did not mean it in a bad way. I am simply curious. You do not have to answer if you feel uncomfortable in doing so." Pyotr added.

"No, Ilyich! It is not that... I took no offense in your question, I knew you were only curious. I am just trying to find the words to say." Eddy said as he smiled. "His love had always come off as easy and loving him in turn was easy. It is light, effortless and ever so selfless. I would describe it as playing Mozart..." Eddy said, closing his eyes as he imagined his love.

"He loves without conditions nor returns. He had always done that, no matter who you are as long as he loves you. All those years, I could not get him out of my head. I still loved him even if I was married to a woman I was pressured to marry." Eddy added.

"I know that too well, too. We both had gone through that." Pyotr whispered as he chuckled bitterly.

"All I am saying is that, he is a good man all throughout. It is not fake or acted out. It is simply just him loving..." Eddy said, the last sentence came out as a whisper.

Pyotr thought and closed his eyes. He rested his head on Eddy's shoulder, who  also has his eyes closed. Pyotr played a melody from the score. They were so engulfed in the moment that they did not hear the door open for Brett's arrival. They were still stuck on each other's great admiration for the other.

"Both of you better not be thinking of running away together to be with each other..." Brett joked and chuckled.

Edward and Pyotr almost jumped at the sudden booming voice of Brett. Thankfully, they had each other in order for them to be stable on the piano stool.

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