Pariah: The Other Malfoy

Chapter 21: Discovery

My lessons with Lupin came a few days later, and I was excited to finally be able to protect myself. Gryffindor's first Quidditch match was in a week, and I was worried about being in the sky near Dementors, but perhaps I'd master Lupin's lessons quickly enough.

"The spell I'm going to teach you is very advanced magic," Lupin leaned against his desk as I stood across from him, "And we can't use a real Dementor, nor a boggart for you. So I can't guarantee you'll manage to produce it out of this classroom, if you do manage."

I nodded, my face set.

"You likely won't get it the first time, don't worry," he smiled at me, but I noted his face was pale and he looked ill, "A Patronus is a kind of positive force, and for the wizard who can conjure one, it works something like a shield, with the Dementor feeding on it, rather than him. In order for it to work, you need to think of a memory. Not just any memory, a very happy memory, a very powerful memory... Allow it to fill you up... lose yourself in it... then speak the incantation 'Expecto Patronum'."

"Okay," I nodded, "Any memory?"

"Any memory that fills you with genuine happiness," he said, "I'll give you a moment to come up with one, then we can try and cast it."

I thought for a second. A genuinely happy memory? Maybe something from my childhood, or when my parents accepted me again? When I got my Firebolt, when I got on the Quidditch team?

No. I knew what memory I had to use. Was it happy? I wasn't sure about that, but I knew the emotions I felt that day were perhaps stronger than any I had experienced before.

The day I apologised to my friends for how I had acted. Specifically, how they accepted me so quickly. The day I felt I truly belonged in Gryffindor, the day my views changed.

"Ready?" I nodded at him, "Right. Expecto Patronum."

"Expecto Patronum," I said, but nothing happened.

"Focus on the memory, let the emotion fill you up," he said, "Again."

"Expecto Patronum," I said, louder this time as though that would help.

A thin wisp of vapour came from my wand, nothing that would fight off a Dementor, but at least there was something! I grinned at Lupin, who laughed loudly.

"For a second attempt, that was very impressive!" He laughed, "Now we have to try and get it bigger, then more sustained!"

It was about an hour and an half later until I managed to satisfy Lupin with something that resembled a shield. I was over the moon as the silver shield surrounded me, though I struggled to maintain it for very long.

"Fantastic, Lyra!" Lupin grinned, he looked years younger, "That was brilliant!"

I regarded him with interest, surely I was wrong. But the signs all indicated it, there was no denying it.

"Is something wrong?" Oops. He had caught me staring.

"I wanted to ask..." I stopped. I couldn't, "No, sorry... It's not appropriate."

"Ask away, if I don't see it as appropriate, I'll just not answer it," he said, I could tell he was intrigued.

"No, you'll honestly not want me to ask this," I continued, why did I bring it up? It wasn't fair!

"Well, I'm intrigued now so you have no choice," he sat on the edge of a desk, "Ask away."

I paused, biting my lip. At least if I could tell him it didn't matter to me?