Pariah: The Other Malfoy

Chapter 41: Regrets

When I woke up, I was glad I had sent him away. The Wolfsbane had worked fine, but I was so upset and grieving and angry and annoyed and everything else that all I could do all night was smash the room to pieces. My voice was hoarse from howling, my whole body ached from tearing the room apart. My arms and legs were scratched to bits by pieces of splintering wood flying around, and the room itself was destroyed.

When I woke, all I could do was weep. Weep for Cedric, for what the future held, for my own goddamn stupidity. I wept until no more tears came, until all I felt was emptiness, all I could do was gasp for air. Madam Pomfrey came to collect me, her eyebrows knitting in concern when she caught sight of me and the room. She helped me to my feet, taking me to the Hospital Wing in silence, treating me without a word.

Harry was sleeping in the bed across from me, the others passed out around him. I figured they had been awake most of the night, but it meant I couldn't find out what had happened afterwards. I noticed Moody was also in the Hospital Wing, looking extremely ill and worse than I had ever seen him. When I asked Madam Pomfrey what had happened, she said it would be better to wait until the others were awake.

So I just lay there, silent and unmoving, staring up at the ceiling. What if I had said something, would things have gone differently?

Ron and Hermione woke before Harry, and spent a while explaining what they had been told. Harry and Cedric had touched the cup and been transported to a graveyard. Wormtail appeared and killed Cedric immediately, before using Harry to revive the Dark Lord. Death Eaters were called for the return of their master, then Harry duelled him, spirits of his last victims giving Harry time to get back to the portkey/cup and return to Hogwarts.

After Moody had taken Harry away, Dumbledore was suspicious. He took McGonagall and Snape with him to Moody's office, only to discover Moody was actually Barty Crouch Jr, and had been the whole year.

He had been the one who was stealing supplies for Polyjuice Potion, and was the one who put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire. He had worked all year to ensure Harry survived the tournament and got to his portkey, so that the Dark Lord could return. He had also killed his own father when given the opportunity, and his word would be the evidence needed to prove the Dark Lord was really back.

But Fudge got in the way. Crouch received the Dementors Kiss before he could give a proper statement, meaning the only evidence was Harry's word.

I listened in silence, biting my lip. Now that they told me, Moody's identity seemed obvious. He hated my father because he wasn't loyal to the Dark Lord, he had abandoned him. That was why he hated my brother and I equally, why he tried to get me to reveal myself.

I was angry. Mostly at myself, for being so blind. How could I not have seen it? Why was I such a fool!

Dumbledore and Snape came to see me a bit later, Harry was still asleep. I was dreading him waking up, I was sure my father had been there and Harry would likely know.

"Miss Malfoy, we apologise for leaving you last night," Dumbledore said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"There were important things going on," I said quietly, my brow furrowed.

"That is no excuse," Dumbledore told me, "We are relieved you are alright despite it."

"Professor..." I hesitated, biting my lip, "I... I think I knew. About Moody. Deep down, I knew something was wrong, but still I didn't say anything! And now—"

"Lyra," he stopped me, "We also suspected something. From the moment he used the Imperius Curse on you in such a way, we kept an eye on him. You telling us your suspicions wouldn't have changed how we acted, we missed the signs despite watching him."