so in love with you // sirius black

chapter 18

    As I slipped back into the dorm I saw Lily and Marlene sitting on my bed, deep in conversation.

    "Lily, did you get sick of living with James in your fancy dorm?" I asked jokingly.

    "He's going insane planning quidditch for this year, and besides, I missed our nightly talks." She responded. "How was studying?" She asked.

    "What's with the goofy smile?" Marlene asked, sounding curious.

    "I ran into Sirius," I said, the stupid smile refusing to go away.

    "And?" Lily asked.

   "And . . ." I dragged the word out. "We kissed."

   "Fucking finally," Marlene grinned.

    "Ok. Spill, what happened?" Lily's smile matched Marlene's. 

    "Well I found him up in the Astronomy Tower, we talked, it was kind of awkward at first and then I thought it was gonna turn into another fight, but all of a sudden he just kissed me." I felt myself blushing slightly.

    "Oh my gosh!" Marlene said, while Lily asked "So are you guys dating now?" at the same time.

    "I guess we didn't talk about it," I said. The question made me feel a sense of worry that I didn't have before. What if he didn't want a relationship?

•••

    I stared at the door of our dorm feeling very nervous to go down for breakfast. I wasn't quite sure why I was worrying so much, I mean Sirius kissed me, it's not like we fought or anything. But I couldn't shake the feeling. I sat there, on my bed for a while longer, before forcing myself to go down to the Great Hall.

    When I reached the Gryffindor table I noticed Sirius wasn't there yet. Despite my nerves, I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

    "Hey Maude," James said when I sat down. I expected him to make some jab about Sirius and me, but I was wrong "I planned quidditch trials for October 10th, that sound good?" I nodded, I was about to ask where Sirius was when I spotted him walking towards our table.

    I started to feel nervous all over again. When he finally reached our table, he walked past his normal spot near James and dropped down next to me.

    "Hey," He said, unlike me he didn't seem nervous at all, and he was looking at me with a cocky grin.

    "Hi" I responded. "So . . . we kissed last night." The words fell out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying. I had to stop myself from slapping my hand over my mouth. 

    "Yes. We did in fact kiss last night." Sirius said, smirking at me.

    "Does that mean we're . . ." I wasn't quite sure how to ask the question.

    "Maybe we should talk about this somewhere a little more private" Sirius suggested. I turned to see our five friends hurriedly look away.

    "Probably" I muttered, glaring at Lily and Marlene, who just shrugged.

    Laughing. Sirius reached over to grab a piece of toast, then got back up from the table, inclining his head towards the door. I pushed myself up and followed him out. We slipped out the front doors and made our way down to the Black Lake. He somehow managed to snarf down his toast by the time we made it to the lakeshore. I looked up at him, his cocky attitude had seemed to fade away and he seemed almost as nervous as I felt.

    "So," I started, trying to think of the best way to phrase the question. "So what does this mean? What are we?" I asked feeling almost scared to know the answer. Sirius stared out at the lake, thinking.

    "To be honest Maude, I don't know." He paused for a moment then continued on. "I do know that I like you, a lot. You know all those times I called you my favorite person last year? I wasn't lying." he smiled at the memory and I did too. "I pushed you away for so many reasons but I think the main one was that the intensity of my feelings scared me." For a second I thought he might say more, but he just looked down at me, with a soft smile. I reached down and grabbed his hand, gripping it tightly.

    "When I first realized I had feelings for you it was so odd. You had always just been you, and then all of the sudden I liked you. It happened so fast for me but it just felt right, and when we weren't talking I wanted to get over you, but instead, I just kept falling harder and harder." It felt weird, just talking to him, after all the ignoring each other and spewing out feelings out, then not talking about it. But it was good, weird, but good. We stood there in silence for a moment our hands clasped together, both staring out at the lake.

    "Maude?" Sirius asked.

    "Mhm?"

    "I know we might not have everything figured out, at least I know I don't, but I want you to be my girlfriend."

    "Really?" I asked, a large smile spreading across my face.

    "Really." He said with a smile almost as bright as mine.

    "Okay" and that was that.

    He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards him. Bringing his lips down to meet mine. The kiss was soft and tentative, and it felt as though all of our emotions were released at that moment.

hey all!
sorry it took me a while to get this chapter out, i've been busy and also just wasn't sure how i wanted this chapter to work out, but its done now so i hope you enjoy it!
xx anna