so in love with you // sirius black

chapter 50

It was late June, about a month had passed since the final task. The Ministry still refuses to acknowledge the Dark Lords' return, and the only information that we've gained is that Barty Crouch Jr. was behind the events of the Triwizard Tournament. Recently the bookstore was closed more often than not and Sirius and I had been laying low, only in contact with Remus, Dumbledore, and Harry.

It was a normal Sunday morning when Dumbledore arrived at the front door of my apartment. If he was surprised to see I was harboring a criminal in my home he didn't let on.

"Good morning Ms. Collins, Mr. Black" He swept into the main room, surveying it.

"Morning Professor" I greeted him, feeling slightly confused as to why he was here. "Has something happened?" I asked.

"Nothing bad necessarily. I have been talking with Minerva and the Weasleys about the recent events and we have decided to reform the Order of Phoneix." Sirius and I glanced at each other and then back at Dumbledore. "There is only one problem, we don't have a meeting place."

Not having somewhere to meet, could be a problem, any of the places we had used in the past had been discovered by the Death Eaters and would no longer be safe.

"I know a place," Sirius said.

•••

Sirius and I stood on a normal looking Muggle street in London, staring up at the spot where Sirius's house should be, between numbers 11 and 13. Seconds later a large door appeared, and then gray walls and windows, piece by piece the house was revealed.

"Home sweet home," Sirius muttered sarcastically, glaring up at the building in front of us. He had volunteered Grimmauld Place for order meetings, but I knew he wasn't exactly happy to be returning to his family home.

Sirius took a deep breath and walked up the worn stairs and pushed the door open. I followed him up and stepped over the threshold. I was immediately hit with a strong smell of mildew. The hallway we had entered was dark, so I pulled out my wand and cast Lumos.

"Here can I see that, I can't find the light switch" I passed my wand to Sirius who fumbled around for a light switch. A couple of seconds later the gas lamps on the wall sputtered to life.

"I need to figure out how to get myself a wand" Sirius murmured.

"Dumbledore knows everyone, I'm sure he can figure it out."

Sirius handed my wand back to me and we started down the hallway. It was lined with doorways and paintings. The latter I assumed to be of Sirius's ancestors. I was just about to push a door open when one of the paintings started to scream.

"How dare you return here after what you did! You're an embarrassment to this family! A blood traitor!" Sirius visibly flinched at the woman's voice, he said something by I couldn't pick it out over the screaming.  "And bringing a muggle-born into our-"

The screaming was cut off as Sirius pulled a set of heavy curtains in front of the painting.

"That would be my mother" Sirius explained cringing slightly.

"She seems horrid."

"She was" Sirius muttered. I could tell the encounter had shaken him up a bit. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, I forgot her portrait was here."

"It's okay," I assured him. I felt like I should say something more, but I didn't know what.

Sirius returned to the door we were going to enter and swung it open to reveal a large kitchen. Both walls were lined with cabinets and a long table ran down the center of the room. Everything was covered in dust, but other than that it seemed to be in pretty good condition.

"Kreacher should be in here somewhere," Sirius said, half to himself, glancing around the room. "He's probably hiding, he never liked me"

"Kreacher?" I questioned, not recognizing the name.

"The house-elf" Sirius said dismissively. He sighed loudly and strode to the middle of the room, just standing there for a moment, looking around. "God I hate this place, too many bad memories" He muttered.

I walked over to him, standing just close enough for our shoulders to touch, I knew that when Sirius started to open up about things like this is was often better to just listen.

"I just never thought I'd be back, y'know?" His voice sounded off, not quite sad, but expressing some other emotion I couldn't pinpoint. I took his hand in mine and held it tightly.

We stood there for just a moment longer before Sirius moved away.

"We need to get this cleaned up if we're having order meetings soon." His voice sounded normal again. "I should go find Kreacher." He started to move towards the door. Even with the sudden mood change, I could still tell he wasn't feeling so great. He was acting almost frantic as if he needed to be moving

"Hey calm down, I can do it." Talking to his family's house-elf was definitely not something that would help his mood. I flicked my wand and the dust rose up off the tables and landed in a waste bin in the back of the room.

Sirius collapsed in a chair and I sat down next to him, not quite sure what to do.

"Sorry, this is stupid. It's just a house." He dropped his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

"Sirius it's not stupid"

"It kind of is" He laughed a little bit, some of the tension in the room evaporating. I couldn't help but return his smile. "I'm scared of a house, I've fought in a war, I spent 12 years in Azkaban, but I'm scared of a house. It's definitely a little stupid."