Obey.

Nine

Be seen in Germany. Check. Fly back to America. Check. Run back into the arms of the enemy-

"There he is," Cayden spoke softly, covered in mud from head to toe, to mask his scent and so was I. It was starting to cake and soon it wouldn't help too much, one strong blow of the wind and that was it, Hunter would know we were here.

I nearly vomited as I saw Hunter for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. And yet it was like yesterday as I stared at him as he jumped out his car and went into his mansion that showed no sign of fire damage. But of course not, how many times did I use to tear up the bedroom I was jailed in, only for it to be completely back to normal before Hunter came home.

I was glad Cayden suggested the first time I looked at him I should be in wolf form. Wolves didn't have panic attacks, I realized and agreed.

But to kill Hunter, I would have to actually face him head on. But still, I would allow myself this one small weakness. Next time, I would stand on two feet like Cayden.

"Ok, let's head back to the safe house, we've confirmed he's here," Cayden stated before shifting back into wolf form also. We raced away.

Getting back to the safe house, I rushed to the bathroom and did vomit. My mind had been racing and had turned very dark after just that one small glance Hunter's way. Wolves couldn't have panic attacks, but apparently werewolves could. All that anxiety stayed trapped inside of me and burst out the moment I shifted.

"It's ok," Cayden said tenderly as he stroked my back. "That was only a test run if you will."

I barked out a bitter laugh. "Can we please just spend the rest of the day working more on the mental shit please?"

"Mental therapy," he corrected as he led me to a large mirror in the bedroom to face myself. "Go ahead, I'm going to go pick up lunch for us after a quick shower." I nodded and squared my shoulders. Cayden turned but stopped before turning back to me. It felt as if we were magnets drawn together we clung to each other. I laid my head on his chest as he squeezed me so hard it felt as if he were trying to merge our bodies.

"I'll be ok," I promised. He nodded, sighed before going back into the bathroom, I heard the shower being turned on.

Turning to face the mirror, the first time I had done this I felt like a fool. But now it brought me comfort. Staring into my eyes that looked crazed and bloodshot, narrowing them down to look at myself in hatred at my weakness, I watched as my lips open to speak before putting all of my focus solely on my eyes. I looked deeply into them, getting lost in myself. Cayden wanted me to repeat a mantra, saying over and over that I was strong and worthy but I had changed what I wanted to say months ago, it felt more right.

"Who are you? Who do you want to be?" I hissed at myself. "Weak? Pathetic? No!" I growled out. "You are more than a punching bag. You are a predator who sees in the dark and runs faster than the wind, so toughen up," I pointed a finger at the mirror. "Get your fucking shit together and take that fucker down." Hearing the shower water turn off, I switched up my words. "You are strong. You are brave. Your ass looks good in those jeans," I joked to myself as Cayden walked in with a grin.

"I see you feel better," he threw an extra towel at me. "I'll be gone when you get out," he said mournfully. "But not for long."

"Not for long," I repeated and it felt as if there was an unspoken promise there.