Chapter 35: Never Have I Ever

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(A/N. I love this chapter...this is your last chance to guess a summer secret. Question of the day, who should find out shes drinking first?)

me and Spencer pulled up to the cabin. The whole car ride was silent and awkward. Once we were here we both selected a room. I picked the one me and darnell shared the last time as painful memories flew back.

Corey, in a few ways, was a father figure to me as well. This also brings back memories of darnell and I already miss him.

Then I stared at the letter from my brother and even more emotions rushed over me. I shoved it in a drawer as a flashback fell over.

Flashback - the hospital when maya was born

"I'm not ready for this. What if I'm an awful dad," shawn said pacing.

His daughters baby mama didnt want him in the room even though hed have complete custody. I was worried to. Me and him are living in our own apartment and are doing okay. But adding a new born. It was scary.

"Shawn. You are an amazing person and you will be an amazing father," I comforted hiding the fear.

"I havent even picked her name yet," he told me.

"You'll figure it out. And I'm here to help you every step of the way. My first bit of advice. Dont name it Karen," I said making him laugh.

A few minutes later the doctor came out and handed shawn the baby girl. I saw his expression of pure joy as he looked into her eyes.

"Hey baby Maya. I'm your daddy. And this here is your aunt Pheonix, " he said with a smile I'd never seen him wear.

"Hey maya. We are going to take good care of you."

As we talked to the newborn I realized one thing. Me and shawn would always have eachothers back.

Normal time

"You good?" Spencer asked me.

I grabbed my cup filled with alcohol and took a few sips to numb the memories that were screaming back at me. I nodded my head at him.

"Its hard being back here."

"It is."

"If you need me I'll be in the kitchen contemplating why I came back," he said.

"Spencer. Come here," I said and patted the bed next to me.

He sat next to me and laid is head on my sholder. We stared at the walls saying nothing. This house is completely suffocating. I wanted nothing more to run and never come back.

"We should go," Spencer said and I agreed.

As we were leaving cars pulled up. I was relieved when JJ was the first one from the car. I ran and gave him a hug, needing someone not so serious right now.

"You okay, Nix?" He asked, holding me tight.

"I'm better now."

"You look badass with your scar," he said.

I reached up and touched the place where my stitches are. I smiled at the comment and thanked him.

"Bitch, where's my hug?" Olivia said squeezed me tight.

"Yeah. What are we, chop liver," leila said hugged me too.

I guess me and Leila are good. I gave simone a hug but not the new girl. I dont trust that bitch. Asher was with jordan and JJ and Spencer.

"I need advice," I said to the girls, excluding vanessa.

I like her mom, but shes a bitch. I will say this too the day I die.

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