Law of Attraction

Film 13

Paige Maree's

Stay away from me before I destroy you.

Of course I didn't tell him that. Dire-diretso lang akong bumaba sa hagdan. Red didn't move an inch. He didn't try to follow me.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sinunod niya ang sinabi ko o baka he's too shocked to understand what I said. Kahit ako, nabigla sa lumabas sa salitang naggaling mismo sa aking bibig. Never in my life have I imagined that I could hurt someone with my words. It's just that... I can't handle anything right now other than my personal problems.

I don't wanna bring people into my misery. I want to be alone when I find out and when I get free of this misery. Kasi buhay ko naman 'to, hindi ko na kailangan pa ng tulong ng iba. Ayokong nakikita ng iba na nakakaawa ako. Kasi malakas naman ako at kaya ko 'to.

He saw me cry once, and I think once is enough. It was a moment of vulnerability and if only I could turn back time, I'll never allow him to see that impression of me. Too fragile and vulnerable. Weak.

Bumalik ako sa classroom namin na para bang walang nangyari. I convinced myself that what just happened was not a big deal. It has to happen eventually because I know myself. I know that I suck at keeping people. I suck at letting them stay.

"Kumain ka na?" Alissa asked when they entered. Tumango lang ako.

Kanina pa ako nagmumukmok dito. I was just scribbling on my journal notebook. I had already written three poems and sketched something. I was just trying to distract myself.

Naramdaman kong nilapag ni Red yung bag niya sa kanyang upuan. But he did not stay on his seat. Sinubukan kong hindi siya tingnan pero hindi ko kaya. I glanced at him pero dire-diretso ang kanyang paglalakad pagkatapos niyang nilapag ang kanyang bag.

Do'n siya tumambay sa kabilang column kung nasa'n ang mga lalaking barkada niya habang hindi pa nagsisimula ang afternoon subject namin.

"Sino ba yung cleaners? Yung corridor madumi pa raw!" sabi ng president namin. Hindi naman ako cleaner ngayon kaya inignora ko lang siya.

Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa desk. Life's tiring lately. Same old. I wanted to have a break but school's stopping me from doing so.

Hindi pa nagsisimula yung first period pero nakarinig ako bigla ng hiyawan. It was not because of panic pero parang may tinutukso sila. Because of mere curiosity, tumingin ako sa paligid ko.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang isang lalaki na nakatayo sa harapan ko. He was holding a boquet of flowers tapos sa kabilang kamay niya ay ilang Dairy Milk chocolates na may almonds.

I stood up because of confusion. Ano bang ginagawa niya sa harapan ko. I feel so lost. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay na para bang nagtatanong ako sa kanya kung anong kailangan niya sa'kin.

We are not personally acquainted. Kilala ko siya bilang isang batchmate. I'm not even sure if we became classmates before.

"I was dared... to confess to someone I like," he said.

Nangatog ang paa ko. This is very awkward. My social anxiety is starting to win over me. Joke time ba 'to? Baka pinagti-tripan lang nila ako? Why would someone even like me? I don't have any likeable traits!

Why is he so hard on me that he even confessed publicly. I feel so pressured, confused, and anxious.

"I like you, Paige."

Ibinaling ko sa iba ang paningin ko. Everyone was frozen on their positions. Even my friends, Alissa and Kylie don't even know what to do. Nakakunot-noo rin sila gaya ko.