Law of Attraction

Film 27

Red stared at me for a few seconds. . . minutes. Pilit iniintindi at ninanamnam ang salitang aking binitawan. Natatawa ako sa itsura niyang hindi makapaniwala, not until the meaning of the words dawned at him.

Unti-unting sumilay ang isang ngiti sa kanyang labi. He immediately took out his phone and took a photo of us. Sa panginginig niya, nagmistulang aesthetic blur yung mga kuhang litrato niya naming dalawa.

"Ako na nga," I said. Para siyang na pipi dahil hindi siya makapagsalita. Hindi rin mabura ang ngiti sa kanyang labi.

Binigay niya naman sa akin ang cellphone niya. Napapangiti rin ako dahil hindi talaga matanggal sa mukha niya ang pagngiti.

I positioned his phone on my hand as I stretched my arm to take a photo of us. I used the back camera of his phone and turned on the flash para makita yung mukha namin. I turned to kiss Red's cheeks as I took the photo. Mas natawa ako nang makita ang pagkagulat niya do'n sa resulta ng litrato.

That night was really memorable for me. Memorable on another level. My happiness heightened. . . and I couldn't trade it for anything.

I'm now lying on my bed as I was staring on my bedroom ceiling. My bedroom light was spanish style like how everything in this house is. Pinanatili lang ni Lala ang ilang parte ng lahi at kultura niya. Isa pa, it's not as if we didn't adopt these cultures when we were colonized kaya normal lang makakita ng ganitong mga bahay dito. Specially some ancestral houses.

Nasa dibdib ko ngayon ang phone ko. I used staring at the ceiling as an excuse to calm my heart down. Nakatanggap uli ako ng notification kaya tinignan ko ulit ito.

Red posted an Instagram post. Before we ended that night, I asked him to keep everything about us lowkey. Hindi naman sa nahihiya ako o ano, I just really keep boundaries between me and other people. I don't want them to know important steps of my life. Posting photos of us would just feed their chika-hungry minds.

Malay ko ba kung gagawin na nila kaming pulutan habang nakikipag-inuman sila. I just don't want people to talk about me. Wala namang masama sa pagpo-post. Kaya lang, I can't control people to stop talking about me kaya ako nalang ang mag-aadjust.

Binuksan ko ang cellphone ko at tinignan kung anong notification ang nando'n. I smiled to myself when I saw a photo of us. Hindi ko naman ikakatampo 'to kasi hindi naman ako kita. It was a blurry picture of us. Even if you squint as hard as you can, hindi ako makikilala. My chin downwards was the only visible part of me. If my lips were visible, people would easily recognize me. It's like a signature trait and I don't like that it's what people can first see in me. They like how pouty my lips are, but I kinda hate my lips.

On the other hand, kitang-kita naman ang ngiti ni Red sa litrato. Nakaakbay siya sa akin at sa kabilang balikat ko ay naka-peace sign siya.

Nag-intay muna ako ng ilang minuto bago ako naglike. Masyadong halata kapag ako yung unang magla-like.

Last day na ng exam namin ngayon at pagkatapos nito, Christmas break na. The last few days, I've heard people asking Red who was that girl from his Instagram. Hindi naman nila ako matanong kasi umiiwas agad ako kapag nagtatangka silang magtanong. They can't also confirm their suspicion kasi mula no'ng magpost si Red ay wala namang nagbago sa mga galaw namin. We still acted like the usual, like what friends normally do.

I'm with Alissa and Kylee most of the time now too kaya wala gaanong chismis na kumakalat.

I immediately closed my folder as soon as we passed our test paper for our last exam in our certain subject. Nag-iinat ako nang maramdaman kong may kumalabit sa akin. Hinarap ko kung sino ito at tinaas ang dalawang kilay para tanungin kung bakit.