A Little More Of Love.

Chapter 26: You Stay, I Stay

♡ L I L Y ♡

There is bustle and commotion around me. The crowd gathered is shivering and excited with the anticipation of this night.

Because it's finally the last night of the year 2022. 

Energy in the air is inviting. However, the temperature is repelling. Sharp coldness stiffens my hands and brings a rosy blush to my cheeks. I shove my hands into my coat pockets as I walk on the sidewalk with a packet full of beer cans and junk food. Instead of forcing myself to go out with Taylor to another party, staying in and thinking is what I intend to do tonight. 

I shudder when that sentence in his voice rings up in my mind. 

"I'm sorry I had to be that man's son!"

I take a deep icy breath as my lungs swell up with air.

After my brief run-in with Alastair and his accident, I sneaked into the hospital and looked around for him, only to catch a glimpse of him aimlessly wandering in the halls. My instinct let me follow him. He looked so lost and broken, and when I watched him fall and break down, it broke my heart into million pieces, but then those words came out of his mouth, and it made me realize how my whole life I lived and survived like an adult and bear the consequences of actions and words that were not my fault at all. 

It wasn't his fault either, and I believe we both forgot that one most important thing. 

I wanted to go and hug him, but I knew I couldn't. Even if I now know it isn't our fault, I just can't waltz back into his life as if nothing happened. I left him. I hurt him. So, I don't have a right to be with him. I want him to be happy in the future with someone he truly deserves, letting myself live in my unrequited love for the rest of my life— "Hey, watch out, Nathan!" in a brief second, a guy slightly collides with me, and I stumble to keep my balance when a girl grabs my wrist and pulls over, "Oh, I am sorry about my boyfriend." 

"Becca?" the guy comes up to us and apologizes to me.

I tilt my head and smile, "Oh, it's okay." 

They seem relieved and walk away together after wishing me "Happy New Year." in advance. I watch the blissful couple go and faintly smile as my mind jogs through the memories of Alastair and me on that beach, playing and laughing. 

I shake my head and look away as I sigh and resume my steps.

I should get back to my home and stay in. 

I shouldn't have let Ollie go too. 

I am all alone now. 

I walk a few blocks in silence, contrasting with the festive mood in the air of the night when I aimlessly sigh and turn my head only to halt and freeze at the sight of someone's familiar back — Alastair? 

Alastair at a local bar instead of the Palace Hotel celebrating the new year? 

I slowly move closer to the door when I notice a leather jacket-wearing blonde in a romper with a plunging neckline flirting and having heart eyes for him. 

I frown.

"Hey, you coming in?" 

I blink and realize someone is speaking to me with the door open.