It's annoying when you believe that someone is, in fact, in love with you but they're too shy to admit it so they just continue to drop hints and keep you guessing.
You start noticing the little things they do, like the way their eyes linger on you when they think you're not looking or the extra effort they put into making you laugh. They remember the details of your conversations, your likes and dislikes, and it feels like they are genuinely interested in your life.
But when it comes to expressing their feelings directly, they retreat into their shell, which only makes you feel more frustrated and confused.
Jay is both your classmate in some classes and your roommate. You've known each other for a couple of years now, and as time has passed, you've started to pick up on those subtle hints that maybe, just maybe, Jay has feelings for you. It's a maddening situation to be in because you care about Jay deeply, and you're not sure whether these feelings are reciprocated.
"I don't know whether he actually has feelings for me or if I'm just reading too much into things," You sigh while Sarah, your best friend, listens to you ramble about how confusing and frustrating your situation with Jay has become.
"I mean, it's pretty obvious he has a thing for you," She leans in her chair and takes a sip of her coffee. "I've seen the way he looks at you, and it's not just the usual friendly way. There's something more in his eyes."
"Then why doesn't he just say something?" You roll your eyes, running a hand through your hair in frustration. "I'm tired of playing this guessing game. It's driving me crazy."
"Fear, probably. Rejection is a scary thing, and maybe he's worried about ruining the friendship you two have." She smiles. "Or maybe he's just really shy when it comes to this stuff."
"Okay, then how am I supposed to figure this out without making things awkward between us?" You ask, taking a sip of your own coffee, the steam curling around your face.
When Sarah smiles, you know she has a plan in mind. "Why not make him jealous? If you put him in a situation where he might lose you to someone else, I'm sure you'll get a clearer picture of his feelings."
You raise an eyebrow. "Making him jealous, huh? How do I even go about doing that?"
"Maybe tell him you're going on a date. If he likes you then he will definitely be bothered by that," Sarah suggests.
You hesitate, thinking it over. The idea of telling Jay about a date with someone else makes your heart race, but it might be the push he needs to break through his shyness and admit his feelings.
So, when you go back to your shared apartment and find him watching TV in the living room, you decide it's the perfect time to drop the bombshell. You sit down next to him and clear your throat, trying to sound casual.
"Hi," You smile and his eyes soften as he looks at you.
"Sunshine," He tilts his head, giving you his full attention. The nickname makes you want to just kiss him and end the game right there, but you need to follow through with your plan. "How was your day?"
"Good. Great actually," You correct, faking excitement. "I met someone on campus and he asked me on a date. Can you believe that?"
You watch Jay's reaction closely. His eyes widen slightly, and he swallows hard. It's the kind of reaction you were hoping for.
"Wow, that's...unexpected," Jay says, his voice carefully measured. He looks away for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. "Why?"
"What do you mean why? I'm pretty and smart and everything someone can hope for in a date," You reply with a playful tone, trying to keep the conversation light despite the knot of tension in your stomach.
"No, I mean why would you tell me this? It's not my business." Jay didn't intend to sound harsh, but it did, and now you stare at him in surprise. His response is not at all what you expected, and it leaves you feeling a bit deflated.
Your heart sinks, and you wonder if you've made a mistake by even bringing up the topic. Perhaps he really isn't interested in you in the way you hoped. "You don't have to be so mean. I just thought we were close enough that I could share this with you."
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit he often displays when he's unsure how to express himself. "I just don't know what you're expecting me to say. If you want to go on a date with him, just go."
"Do you mean it?" You stand up from your seat, his response stinging. "Do you really want me to go? Because I will."
He looks up at you for a moment before he sighs. "Yeah, just go."
"You're a fucking coward." That's it, you can't help but let your frustration boil over. You're hurt and angry that Jay seems so indifferent to the idea of you dating someone else, and his passive response has pushed you to the breaking point.
You would have believed him if you didn't see how he looks at you when he thinks you're not looking, how he always covers you with your blanket whenever he finds you sleeping in the living room and how he remembers the little things about you that no one else does.
But he does like you and you know it. You know very well that he's been too afraid to admit his feelings.
"Y/N, you need to stop-"
"I won't stop! Why can't you just be honest for a fucking change?" You shout, tears welling up in your eyes while the frustration and confusion that have been building up for so long have finally erupted. "You're telling me to go on a date with someone else like it doesn't matter to you at all. Why are you so-"
"Because I love you!" The sudden confession makes your heart stop. The room falls into a heavy silence, and you can hear the rapid beating of your heart in your chest.
The tears that welled up in your eyes fall freely down your cheeks and you just sob while he wraps his arms around you. You bury your face in his chest, your tears soaking through his shirt. "Why did you take so l-long to say it?"
You feel him tighten, his grip around you and bury his face in your hair. "Sunshine, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. I was just so afraid of losing what we already had but I really, really love you. I'm awkward, my words are usually jumbled when it comes to feelings and almost all of them are caught up in my throat whenever I try to say anything remotely romantic or vulnerable."
You pull back slightly to look into Jay's eyes, your hands cupping his face. "I knew you liked me, I just needed you to say it. I needed to hear it from your own lips."
A small, relieved smile tugs at the corners of Jay's lips as he leans in and kisses you. The awkward, shy Jay you always knew is now replaced by one who has so much love to give and is hungry for more of you.
His hands go under your shirt while he holds your waist, hoping he can somehow bring you closer than you already are.
"I guess this means you don't have to go on that date, huh?" He whispers against your lips and you smile.
"No. Not when I have everything I want right here."
