Despite Desire

Chapter 19: Theo

Ella hasn't responded to my message, and it's been two hours ago. Like, dammit girl. Please give me a response.

Why is waiting for a response to stressful? Moon Goddess, why do I feel the urge to barge over to her house to make her respond to me?

"Ugh!" I let out, putting my phone down next to my motorbike helmet and looking up at my motorbike.

I grab my motorbike helmet and make my way to my bike. I just need a ride.

"Where are you going?" My father questions, at the same time as I put my helmet over my head.

"I want to go for a ride?" I answer him.

"You want to talk about Ella?" he brings Ella up and I feel annoyed. Why is it that everyone who I told about the way I feel, they act like they know something. What do they know and why are they not telling me.

"Not really," I truthfully answer him.

"Want to go for a run?" He questions, grabbing his set of house keys.

"If you are free," I love runs with my father. It is our way of spending time together- well most of our time.

"Sure," I take my helmet off. I place it by my phone before I grab my phone and place it in my pocket.

"Let's go," he smiles at me. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Do you like Ella?" my father is slightly out of breath as we reach the top of the mountain we ran up.

"I don't know. I have confused feelings for her," my breathe does not portray me running beforehand.

"You explained to me about the feelings, but do you think or know why?" he moves forward, towards the ledge.

"Not really but I assume it is because she must be dangerous," I bend my right leg backwards. I move my right hand to hold my right leg, "what do you think?"

"I don't think she is dangerous, but I do think she is important," my father moves away from the ledge, and he looks at me. His expression unreadable. I hate when I can't Alpha's expressions unless they allow you to read it.

"Important for what?" I question, I change my position to stretch my left leg now.

"You have to find that out and it is my thoughts. I don't have to be right," he makes me more confused than before.

"Yes, but Alpha's are solemnly wrong," I inform him, trying to get him to give more information about his opinion.

"True but you have the feelings for Ella, not me," he smirks at me. He set this up, to make me talk about Ella and get to know her. He knows something I don't or suspects something I don't, and I want to know what he knows.

"Please just tell me what you think it is. I am tired of people I care the most abouts opinion making me figure it out," annoyance and aggression mixed in my tone.

"Why are you so worked up," he sounds like mom now. Mom is the soft and caring one in the relationship and he is normally the stern and cold one. The dynamic of their relationship is something I dream I have about with my mate, and I hope the Moon Goddess will give me a dynamic like that.

"For the first time, I can't understand or interpret my emotions," I move myself to sit on a rock while looking at the view of the township, "before I met Ella... I had two important goals I focused on. Now with her, my sensed are heightened when I am around her, when Chase hugged her, I wanted to rip his hands off her. When Chase and Nathan went to see how she was when I was being a jerk, I lost the serene in me." My father takes a seat next to me, my elbows rest on my outer thighs, "I go into a protective mode, but I have no idea if it is for me or for her. She breaks down my guard and she can read my expression- no one should be able to read an Alpha's expression." I lay my head on my fathers broad shoulders.

"Your mom is the only one who can read my expression, weather I have a mask up or not," he informs me.

"I doubt she is my mate," I answer him truthfully. Your mate is supposed to bring you peace not take it away.

"Is she Chase or Nathan's mate?" my father questions. I see an Image of Chase and Ella kissing.

"I hope not," I say in my wolf voice, and my fists balled up.

"Are you sure, she isn't your mate?" my father looks down at my fist.

"I think I am," I loosen my grip with my fists, "maybe she will be my downfall."

"Maybe," my father pats my shoulder, "maybe."

He looks out on the view. I do the same.

The town is beautiful with the structures and the lights in places slowly turn on. I feel a light buzz from my phone. Ignoring the buzz and focusing on the time I have with my father.